


Blue Moon Lovers

by Lulubellisima



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 22:04:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17108948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lulubellisima/pseuds/Lulubellisima
Summary: Rey lives a simple life, working at her coffee shop--Resistance. Then her life takes a turn when she meets her neighbor, Leia Organa, and she discovers a past life that is connected to her own. Not to mention that the enigmatic Ben Solo twists her mind and emotions in different directions. Rey will come to learn that sometimes the mistakes of the past can affect the present, and that some are destined to be soulmates.





	1. A long time ago...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tigbit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigbit/gifts).



> This is for tigbit, who wanted a soulmate fic. I really hope you like this, I made it with lots of love. I tried to fill your prompt as best I could and this is what came out. *crosses fingers* 
> 
> Thank you to the amazing @reyofdarkness who was my beta. You made this much prettier.

Rey loves the garden at the end of the street. It brings a smile to her face whenever she passes by. It’s large and full, very full. So full it seems to take up more space than the small house next to it does. There’s a cute little metal fence full of ivy surrounding the garden and house—appropriate, given the name of their street is Ivy Road.

She’s never met the owner—not officially. The old lady who lives at number 47 Ivy Road doesn’t talk or go out much. It’s only from the whispers around the neighborhood that Rey knows anything about her at all. The woman’s name is Leia Organa-Solo, a widow whose entire family died years ago. A renowned painter, who moved to number 47 when her family died almost a decade ago. Rey has only seen her a handful of times, and every time she waves, Leia gives her a small smile and immediately goes inside her house. Rey keeps telling herself to just go over and introduce herself, but it’s been nearly a year since she moved into the neighborhood and she hasn’t done it. 

Rey thinks it’s sad Leia is so lonely. Perhaps that’s why she has such a beautiful garden, having so much time to spend making it that way. Rey will stand and stare at it for minutes at a time whenever she can. Rey loves the smell of it—the gardenias’ smell tends to linger in her nose long after she’s left. There’s such a multitude of colors and a variety of flowers she doesn’t even know the names of, but is fascinated by all of it.

It’s early morning, the sun barely over the horizon, and Rey is staring at the garden again. She always stops on her walk to work, taking in the aroma of freshly watered grass and the sweet scent of the flowers. Rey is thinking about how early Leia must wake up to water the plants when it happens. 

There’s a loud crash that comes from the back of the garden with a yelp that makes Rey jump over the fence instinctively. There’s a faint blue shimmer that flashes as Rey’s feet hit the dirt. She stumbles momentarily, dazed by the light. There’s another yelp, and Rey takes off. The garden is much deeper than she had realized. There’s a twisting path, and, finally, an open space. Leia is hunched on the ground. 

Rey hurries to help her up. “Where are you hurt? How can I help?”

Leia smiles. “Bless you, child. I twisted my ankle. Could you help me inside?”

“Of course.” 

Leia is so small, Rey thinks she could break. She holds Leia’s arm over her shoulder and carries most of her weight, helping her up the two steps onto the porch and finally inside. Rey is momentarily mesmerized by the inside of Leia’s home. There are plants over almost every surface—a small jungle. What takes her breath away are the paintings. They cover the walls, illuminated by firefly lights. Most are portraits, all beautiful but sad. The feeling gets carried over from painting to painting. 

There is one especially that catches Rey’s attention; it hangs over the living room mantlepiece—two lovers embracing beneath a sky full of stars, a large tree behind them. Something about it pulls at Rey’s heart.

Rey holds onto Leia more firmly, afraid she might fall. After a few steps she helps Leia sit on a small couch, setting her down gently.

“I’m Rey, by the way. I live a few houses down the street.”

“Nice to meet you, Rey. I’m Leia. Thank you for coming to my aid; I would have been sitting on the ground out there for hours if not for you.”

“I’m glad I could help. Would you like me to take you to urgent care?”

Leia shakes her head. “I’ll be fine, dear. Just need to rest.”

Rey helps lift Leia’s legs onto the couch and props her right foot on a pillow. “Do you have anyone you can call to help you out?”

Despite Leia’s smile, her eyes fill with sadness. “I’ll be fine. You should go. I’m sure you’re busy.”

Rey feels horrible; she doesn’t want to leave Leia by herself. “Can I bring something for you before I leave?”

“A glass of water, please. Oh, and hand me that book on the table,” says Leia, pointing to a side table.

Rey searches for the kitchen and a couple minutes later, brings Leia the water and the book she had pointed to earlier. It looks more like a journal to Rey, especially since there is no title or author on the front or the spine. Plus, it’s thin and much longer than most books. She hands it to Leia along with the water.

“Would you like anything else?” asks Rey.

“No. Thank you, Rey.”

“You’re welcome,” says Rey 

Leia smiles, eyes twinkling in delight. “Have a good day, dear, and thank you again for your help. 

Rey leaves hesitantly, waving at Leia again as she walks to the front door. She hurriedly heads to her coffee and pastry shop—Resistance Grounds. Rey enters the building through the back door into the kitchen. Finn is happily humming along as he takes out trays of bread from one of the ovens. 

“Morning, Peanut!” says Finn as Rey enters.

“Morning, Finn! I need a favor.”

“Of course, shoot.”

“I can’t stay long today. Rose and Jessica will be coming in soon, so you won’t be too understaffed. I can call Poe too and see if he can come in to help.”

“Don’t worry, we can handle it. Where are you going?”

“One of my neighbors is injured—twisted her ankle this morning. She’s all alone, so I want to go check up on her. Maybe convince her to go to urgent care. I’ll leave as soon as I finish up the batches I started last night.”

“Ok, no problem,” says Finn, smiling broadly and taking the first batch of pastries to the front of the store.

Rey readies the pastries and puts them in the oven, then grabs a loaf of bread and a few other pastries before saying goodbye to Rose and Finn and heading out. She goes home first and packs some of the soup she made the day before.

When she gets to Leia’s house, she enters through the garden and goes up the porch steps. She can see Leia through the window, still lying on the couch. 

Rey opens the door. “Knock knock.”

Leia looks up, surprised, closing the book she was reading and placing it on the coffee table next to her. “What are you doing back?”

Rey places the bags in her hand on the coffee table and kneels on the floor next to the couch.

“It didn’t feel right leaving you alone. Plus, I still think you should go to urgent care. I can take you; I have a car. I just like walking to work, but I can bring it, won’t be a—”

Leia cups Rey’s cheek with a hand, silencing Rey instantly. There’s a sad look in Leia’s eyes, but she smiles regardless. “You’re very kind.”

Rey smiles and touches Leia’s hand. “No one should be alone when they are sick or injured.”

Leia chuckles. “No, I suppose not. What did you bring?”

Rey lets go of Leia’s hand and grabs the bags, showing her the soup, bread, and pastries. “My friends and I own the coffee and pastry shop on Cherry Street—Resistance Grounds & Sweets. The bread and pastries were baked this morning. 

“I’ve gone past there. It always smells very good.”

“Finn, Rose, Poe, and I work really hard to make scrumptious food. We all met in high school and went off to university together. When we graduated, we all realized our passion was coffee and desserts. So we scrounged all our money and created Resistance,” says Rey.   

“That’s wonderful,” says Leia. “Can I try one of those delicious looking pastries?”

“Shouldn’t you eat the soup first?”

“I always eat my dessert first.”

Rey laughs and hands the box she brought to Leia.

Leia looks at all her options and chooses a small tart. It’s lemon with a raspberry on top. “Mmm,” she says.

“I use Meyer lemons. Much sweeter. I don’t like my lemon tarts to be too tart. 

“I love it.”

“I’m going to heat this up,” says Rey, taking out the soup container. 

Leia nods and continues eating the tart. While Leia is finishing, Rey goes into the kitchen, heats up the soup in the microwave, and then pours it into a bowl. When Rey returns to the living room, Leia is already eating pieces of the loaf Rey brought too.

“Here, tastes better when you dip it in the soup,” says Rey. 

Rey hands Leia the soup bowl and sits on the couch opposite her. They’re both quiet for a while as Leia eats. Rey looks back at the portrait that caught her eye that morning—the one on the mantelpiece. She stares at it for a long time. By the time she looks back at Leia, she’s finished the soup and is smiling knowingly. Rey takes the bowl from Leia and sets it on the coffee table.

“How are you feeling?” asks Rey, looking at Leia’s ankle. It is only a little swollen.

“Just a bit of pain. It wasn’t a bad fall, nothing to worry about.”

“Would you like a painkiller? 

Leia shakes her head. “How am I going to repay your generosity?”

“No need. I’m just glad you aren’t badly injured.”

Leia nods. “Do you like it?” she asks.

“What?”

Leia nods to the portrait. “It was one of my first works. I based it off a story my mother used to read to me. It was my favorite, hers too.”

Rey looks at the portrait and smiles. “It’s beautiful.”

“It is.”

“What is the story?” asks Rey.

Leia looks at Rey thoughtfully, then nods and grabs the book she’d placed on the coffee table. Rey notices that it’s the same book she had fetched for Leia that morning.

“I can read it to you. Would you like that?”

Rey sits cross-legged on the carpet next to Leia’s couch. “Yes.”

* - - - - *

_Padme likes the human world. She likes the smells, the colors, and the sounds. If it were possible, she would live in a garden of flowers for all of eternity. As it was, being a goddess has her relegated to living among the stars. She doesn’t hate her realm, but there is something about the human world that entrances her. The other gods laugh whenever she speaks of it. She is the youngest of them all, and they think her a child. “You will soon learn the nature of men,” they all say. They forbid her from entering the human world._

_She listens, for a while, but her curiosity can’t be tamed. She knows the consequences. That if they found out about her excursions, she would be punished like Prometheus. Padme tells herself she’ll stop, time and time again, except that there’s always a little voice in her head telling her “go, no one will find out.” So she risks everything just for a chance to see the human world. It is during one of her visits that she meets him—the boy._

_Padme is walking through a field of orange blossoms just after dawn when he enters her periphery. His hair is the sun, and his eyes remind her of the sea. He is young, has probably only seen ten summers._

_He’d been picking orange blossoms, which now lay strewn on the ground around his feet along with the basket he carried. He looks at her in awe and without fear he approaches her. Padme tilts her head. There is something different about this one, she thinks, as she too approaches the boy, shortening the distance between them._

_The boy is the first to speak. “Are you an angel?”_

_Padme smiles. “No. My name is Padme. What is yours?”_

_“Anakin.”_

_“Nice to meet you, Anakin.”_

_The boy extends his hand._  

_Padme looks at it and frowns._

_“You’re supposed to shake it,” says Anakin._

_Padme laughs. “Oh yes, I forgot humans have that custom.”_

_“Why do you say that? Aren’t you human?”_

_Padme is compelled to lie, to ensure no word of her visit gets back to the gods, to lie so the boy forgets about her, except she can’t. She feels the need to tell the boy who she is, to leave a little part of herself behind, to know that she will not be forgotten, at least not by him. So she tells him who she is, and she weaves a tale of righteous gods, beautiful goddesses, and power beyond that which any human could ever wield._

_Anakin is enraptured by her story and lulled by her voice. They sit next to each other, the boy moving ever closer, until their arms touch and a spark shoots between them. It makes Padme shiver, and a feeling begins to take root—if only she were human. Anakin feels something too, and he looks at Padme hoping she can explain, but she can’t._

_It is nearly dusk now. Padme has stayed far longer than before. She gets up quickly and bids Anakin goodbye. He’s fast, though, and he takes hold of Padme’s hand._

_“Will you come back?” asks Anakin._

_She should say no. She should tell him to forget her, that gods and humans can’t live within the same realm for long, that it only breeds trouble._

_“Yes.” And as Padme says it, she knows she will come to regret it._

_“Tomorrow?”_

_“Tomorrow.”_

_Padme returns the next day, and the next, and the next. She returns every day to the same spot but doesn’t dare stay as long as the first time. She makes a promise to never stay past twilight. Each day Anakin brings stories to rival her own—he shares ones he learned from the townspeople and ones he’s thought of on his own.  He also brings something for her—a piece of fruit, a slice of bread, a daisy. Slowly, the things he brings start becoming gifts—a picture of a bird he carved on a small wooden tablet, a cup he made out of clay, a wreath made of different flowers. Padme keeps everything in a box, one that Anakin gave to her too. He makes a crevice at the base of a tree, and Padme hides her treasures there._

_She watches him grow, and she sees a light in him that reminds her so much of her own. She wonders if he could be the son of a god; there are many, after all, but he does not like to talk of his mother, and she dares not ask about his father._

_His stories begin to change, from those of an innocent boy to an awakened youth. One day he says he must leave. He will be an apprentice to the great master Obi-wan. Padme recognizes the name for the gods speak of him often. His power in battle is grand, and he has trained many a human, protected by the gods. She knows this means Anakin must go off to war, and she doesn’t understand, he is far too young, but he reminds her he is nearing his fifteenth summer._

_Padme smiles and wishes Anakin good luck. He hugs her, and it knocks the wind out of her. Since that first day, when Anakin had held her hand, she had abstained from being so near to him that they could touch, even by accident. She doesn't want anything else to crave._

_Padme feels tears pooling in her eyes, and she tries desperately to push them back. She doesn’t want Anakin to see her cry. He’s her only friend, and she doesn’t want to see him go. She fears he’ll die in some land far from home and alone. In that moment Padme realizes how much she truly cares for him—he’s more important to her than she thought possible._

_Anakin lets her go and says goodbye. His eyes are shiny as he backs away. “I will come back. Five years from now, I will come back to this very spot and wait for you. Promise me you’ll be here.”_

_The words come out as a gasp, threatening to turn into a sob. “I promise.”_

_Anakin turns and leaves, walking faster and faster until he breaks out in a run. When he disappears from her view, Padme collapses in a heap. Her tears fall freely, and her sobs fill the field. It is the first time she feels her heart break._

* - - - - *

Leia closes the book and sweeps her hand over the cover.

A tear rolls down Rey’s cheek, and she hastily wipes it away. “That can’t be how the story ends.”

“It’s not,” Leia sighs heavily. “We can finish it later. Besides, it’s getting late.”

Rey looks at her watch; it’s after 6pm. “I didn’t realize it was late. How about I make us dinner?”

“That would be lovely. There’s a cane by the front door, next to the umbrella; could you get it for me? I need to get up. I’ve been lying down too long.”

Rey retrieves the cane and helps Leia off the couch. She walks slowly with Rey by her side, gingerly guiding her to the kitchen.

“No need to fuss, dear,” says Leia.

Leia was right; her injury is not bad, and she doesn’t seem to be in much pain.

“How does pasta sound?” asks Leia when they enter the kitchen.

Rey nods and gets to work. Leia keeps a well-stocked fridge and pantry, and Rey is able to prepare dinner without much trouble.

They spend the whole time talking about Rey’s childhood, how she was abandoned at a fire station and grew up in foster care. She tells Leia about her last foster parent—Maz—who she absolutely loved, and passed away a couple years ago. It surprises Rey how comfortable she feels sharing.

Leia listens intently but doesn’t share much information of her own. Rey doesn’t ask much either, afraid that Leia’s family might be a sore subject for her. Before Rey leaves, she writes her phone number on a piece of paper and uses a magnet to hang it on the fridge.

“If you need anything, don’t hesitate to give me a call.”

“Thank you, Rey.” Leia gives Rey a hug, and a genuinely happy smile graces her face.

Rey returns to the living room and picks up the bag and boxes she’d brought over before glancing at Leia’s book. She feels a desperate need to know how the story ends—if Padme and Anakin ever saw each other again.

“You can come finish reading it any time you want,” says Leia. “I just don’t want it to leave the house. It’s…too special for me.”

“I understand,” says Rey. “I’ll come check up on you tomorrow.”

Leia walks Rey over to the front door. “There’s no need. I may be old, but I can still take care of myself.”

Rey laughs. “I’m sure you can, but humor me, yes?”

Leia laughs heartily. “Alright.”

 


	2. Family is...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets to know Leia better and becomes more engrossed in Padme and Anakin's story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thank you to my beta @reyofdarkness. I also had Rey quote from one of my fave stories. Can anyone guess what it's from?

True to her word, Rey returns the next day, and the next, and the next. She stops by mid-morning and then again at dinner time. She creates a routine around her visits, bringing Leia lunch and making dinner with her. It brings back memories of her time with Maz and how she loved the woman who had treated her with respect and given her love. None of the other foster homes had done that. They may not have shared the same blood, but for Rey, Maz was the only mother that counted. She truly missed Maz, every day, and with Leia…the feeling wasn’t so painful. Leia began to fill the longing for a mother that still lived in Rey’s heart. 

After two weeks Leia gives Rey a copy of the house keys. Rey tries to say no at first, but one look from Leia tells her to accept them without question. Their routine continues, and Leia is visibly happier, so much so that she begins to go outside her house more. On one such day, Rey is surprised to see her walk through the door of Resistance. 

“Leia! What brings you over?” asks Rey. 

“My doctor recommended some sun and light exercise, so here I am.”

Rey guides her to a table close to the counter and hands her a menu. “What would you like?”

“Can you get me some chamomile tea, please?” 

“Of course!”

Before Rey has a chance to get the tea, Poe is rushing over to them, thunderstruck. “Leia. Organa. Solo. I can’t believe you’re here! It’s…it’s an honor, you don’t even…wow!”

Rey raises an eyebrow. The usually suave and debonair Poe is at a loss for words. “Uh, Poe, are you—” begins Rey before Poe has the good sense to pick his jaw off the floor. 

“I’m sorry, how rude of me. I’m Poe Dameron,” he says and offers his hand. 

Leia smiles and tries to hide a chuckle. “It’s a pleasure, Mr. Dameron.”

“Please, call me Poe. I’ve been a fan of your work for years,” he says and then turns to glare at Rey. “How did you not tell me you knew Leia Organa-Solo?”

“Umm…” mumbles Rey. She had honestly forgotten about Poe’s crush on Leia Organa-Solo. To Rey, she was just Leia. 

Finn comes out of the kitchen and around the counter. “We’re out of—”

“Finn, come here!” says Poe, dragging Finn by the arm to Leia’s table. “Look who’s here. It’s Leia Organa-Solo.” 

Finn looks at Leia and smiles sheepishly before extending his hand. “I’m Finn. Poe talks about you a lot.”

“Does he now?” asks Leia, shaking Finn’s hand. 

Rose, who’s been watching the entire interaction from behind the counter, comes over to them. “What’s all the hubbub about?” 

Rey turns to her. “Poe just met his idol.” 

“The painter he always blathers on about?” asks Rose. 

“I don’t blather,” says Poe. 

“You kind of do, babe,” says Finn, gingerly patting Poe’s arm. 

“Nice to meet you,” says Rose, also shaking Leia’s hand. “I’m Rose. I bet you didn’t think you’d get hounded by a fan when you came in.”

“I did not,” says Leia. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—” starts Poe.

Leia shakes her head and laughs. “It’s fine, actually kind of nice. I should come more often.” 

“You really shouldn’t have told him that,” says Finn. 

“Yep. C’mon, artist boy, we have work to do,” says Rose, pulling Poe along to get him into the kitchen. 

“But I have so many questions,” whines Poe. 

“Later,” says Finn, helping Rose by pulling Poe’s other arm.

Leia watches them with an amused look. “Bring them over for dinner this week.”

 

“Are you sure? They can be a handful,” giggles Rey. 

“They’re lively. I like that.”

“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Fair enough.”

 

“I’ll go get your tea,” says Rey. 

Rey returns a couple minutes later with a cup of tea and some cookies. Rose is back behind the counter restocking some pastries in a display, while Rey goes into the kitchen. A few moments later Leia nearly jumps out of her skin, startled by a loud shriek from the back and a cry of “seriously!” by Poe. 

“What the hell?!” yells Rose. 

Rey comes back and gives Leia a thumbs up. Leia starts laughing and goes back to finishing her tea. 

“What was that about?” asks Rose. 

“Leia invited us to dinner at her house. I just told the boys.” 

Rose bends over laughing. “Poe is such a dork,” she says between gasps. 

* - - - - *

That Friday Rey and the others gather at Leia’s house after work. Each one brings a side dish, while Leia goes all out with their meal, making enough food to feed an army. There’s laughter and drinking, much to Rose’s liking. It’s nearly midnight by the time they all head home. Finn, being the responsible one, is Rose and Poe’s designated driver—made easier by the fact they all live together. 

As Rey is about to leave, Leia holds her back with a hug. “Thank you,” she says. 

“What for?”

“For being you,” says Leia. 

From then on, Fridays at Leia’s become a weekly event. After a few weeks, Jessica joins the group, and so does Paige—Rose’s sister. It all feels like a ritual they’ve done for years rather than six months. Leia becomes a surrogate mother for all of them, a collector of eclectic souls. 

It’s during lunch on a Saturday after a particularly merry Friday dinner that Rey remembers Leia’s book. She’s sitting at Leia’s kitchen table, fingers making small circles on either side of her temples. “I shouldn’t have listened to Paige. The wine did me in.” 

Leia chuckles. “Did you take some aspirin?”

Rey nods. “An hour ago; not working yet.” 

“Go lie down on the couch and take a nap.” 

Rey nods and goes to the living room couch. She’s been lying on it for only a few seconds when her eyes fall on the painting above the mantelpiece. “Leia?”

“Yes, dear,” says Leia from the kitchen. 

“Can I finish reading Padme and Anakin’s story?”

There’s no response, but a few moments later, Leia is standing in the living room. “Can you even read right now?”

“Uhh, maybe. I just want to finish their story. I can’t believe I had forgotten about it until now.”

Leia walks to a bookshelf and pulls out the book. “Hmm.” She sits on the couch opposite Rey and is quiet for a while. “What makes you want to finish it?” 

“A half-read book is a half-finished love affair,” says Rey, before blushing. “I read that somewhere once.” 

“Very true,” says Leia, grinning. “Alright. I will read to you.”

* - - - - *

_ Even with Anakin gone, Padme returns to the same field every day, eventually wandering closer to Anakin’s town, hiding at the edge of the tree line. She wonders if any of them have news of him, or if any of them care as much as she does. She listens to all of their conversations, but he is never mentioned. She could ask another god, or even go in search of him, but fear stops her. Instead, Padme watches. She doesn’t dare go into town, but she memorizes what she sees, forming a story of it so as to tell Anakin when he returns.  _

_ One day a tradesman enters the town and stays for a fortnight. He is the talk of the town, having stories and wonders none of the people have ever heard or seen. Padme memorizes all of that too, eager to regale Anakin with the fairytales she hears—of far off lands, creatures, and demigods. She doesn’t care for them much, but she is sure Anakin will. As the tradesman leaves, a small bag falls out of his wagon near the edge of the forest. He doesn’t seem to notice, so when he is out of sight, Padme runs to get it.  _

_ Inside is a leather rectangle formed into a book with pieces of parchment sewn neatly in it, along with a reed and a vial of ink. Padme has seen something similar before, and she remembers the gods talking of what the humans created to write down their thoughts. _

_ Taking her treasure, she hurries to the tree in the field. She spends the rest of her time, and the countless days later, filling the little book with her thoughts. Padme fills it to the brim, her words flowing over the pages seamlessly. At night, when she returns to her realm, she casts wish upon wish, hoping for Anakin’s safe return.  _

_ The day that Anakin is set to return, Padme arrives even before the dawn breaks. She is giddy and nervous. Anakin is much older now, and she wonders if war has changed him. Fears he might not be the same. Padme pushes the thoughts to the back of her mind, and instead fishes out her treasure box from the crevice beneath the tree. She marvels at everything he gave her before leaving. They all hold more meaning to her than anything she owns as a goddess. The wreath he gave her so long ago is dry now, but with a touch of her hand, the flowers bloom and return to their original state. She places it gingerly on her head, then wraps her book in a piece of cloth. It’s a welcome gift for Anakin. Padme holds it close to her chest, taking a deep breath to calm down. Then she waits.  _

_ And waits. _

_ And waits. _

_ Anakin doesn’t come back.  _

  
  


* - - - - *

Rey starts sobbing so loud, Leia closes the book quickly and rushes over to her. 

“Oh, Rey.”

“I…I don’t…” says Rey and sits up, pulling her legs to her chest. “I…I can’t stop.”

Leia rubs her back in soothing circles. “It’s alright. It will be alright.” 

Rey shakes her head, and in her mind a voice whispers,  _ I told you the hearts of men were empty. _

“I’m going to bring you some water,” says Leia. 

She returns moments later and hands Rey a glass along with two pills. “Take them; they will help you sleep.” 

Rey takes them without question. Leia has to help Rey hold the glass, her hands are trembling so much. 

 

When Rey downs the glass, Leia takes it and places it on the coffee table. “Sleep. You’ll feel better.” 

Rey nods and lies down again, sniffling. Leia brushes the hair out of Rey’s face and tucks it behind her ear. 

“You’ll be alright. Things will turn out better this time. I can feel it.”

Rey can hear the words but doesn’t understand them. She wants to ask Leia about them, but her eyes keep getting heavier, and she falls into a dreamless sleep.

When Rey finally wakes up, it is nearly nightfall. Her mouth is dry and she feels like there is a pressure on her chest she will never be rid of, but her head is no longer throbbing. Leia is sitting on a chair next to the bed, knitting what seems like a scarf. When she hears Rey stir, she drops the yarn on the chair and sits on the edge of the bed. 

“How are you feeling?” asks Leia. 

“Something hurts, inside. I can’t really explain it. I don’t understand.”

Leia cups Rey’s cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Why? You did nothing wrong. I’m the one who is overly upset over a story.”

Leia pulls her hand back and looks out her window, deep in thought. 

“What is it?” asks Rey. 

“How about I go make you something to eat? You haven’t eaten all day.” 

Leia gets up to leave, but Rey pulls her back onto the bed’s edge. “I want you to finish the story.”

Leia shakes her head. 

“Please. I can’t…” says Rey, struggling to find the right words. “I don’t think I’ll be able to rest until I hear what happened. It sounds silly, but I just need to know—what happened to them.”

Leia nods. “Come with me.”

Rey gets out of bed, swaying slightly, but follows Leia out of the house and into the garden. Leia leads her to a back part of the garden Rey hasn’t visited yet. She stares in awe at how much deeper it goes than she realized. Leia and Rey always stay close to the porch whenever they venture into the garden, but now she follows Leia through a maze of lush vegetation and flowers that seems to be out of a fairy tale. 

They walk for a little longer until they reach the center of the maze. Jasmine is blooming and mixed with honeysuckle; it instantly brightens Rey’s mood. As they continue walking, there is a deep, earthy, mossy scent lingering all around. The soil there seems to be especially fertile, for there are many different kinds of herbs sprouting all around one side—mint, basil, sage. Yet what astonishes Rey the most is the large tree right in the middle. It’s almost majestic in how big and grand it is.

In the growing darkness the leaves on the tree glow a resplendent blue. Rey blinks, and the glow dissipates but only slightly. The tree now looks filled with little firelights. There’s a small, wooden bench beneath the tree and Leia sits, patting the spot next to her, motioning to Rey. 

“This garden is much bigger than I thought, and this tree…it’s gorgeous,” says Rey. “Wait. It’s the tree from your painting, the one on the mantelpiece.” 

“Yes. It’s been here a very long time—seen a lot of things.” Leia sounds nostalgic. “I call it the wishing tree.”

* - - - - *

_ The flowers on Padme’s wreath are shriveled. It’s nearing twilight, and Padme is still sitting in the same spot as she had been that morning. She’s not crying, not anymore. Her tears are dried up, but the streaks they left behind on her cheeks are still there. She’s been staring at the same spot for hours—the spot where Anakin would come out from behind the trees and then walk toward her.  _

_ She looks at the wrapped book in her lap and wishes she had been brave. She tells herself she should have gone looking for him. She wishes she had asked Athena for help—the best of them all, perhaps she would have been willing to. But she knows it is too late now.  _

_ Tears well in Padme’s eyes again, streaming freely down her face. She buries her face in her hands, feeling so much like a child. It feels much worse than the day he left, her heart breaking into a million pieces once more.  _

_ Minutes pass, and then she feels someone put a cloak around her. It’s warm, and it smells familiar, yet different. She looks up to see a man kneeling before her, a crooked smile on his face.  _

_ “I missed you.”  _

_ Padme recognizes his eyes before his voice. He’s much taller now, his hair longer, and he wears dark robes. He bears a small, thin scar, above and below his right eye. His eyes, however, haven’t changed; they are the same eyes she’d looked at every day for years. They have more depth to them. Padme can tell there is great anguish in them, just as much as there is happiness, but deep down they are still the eyes of the little boy she met so many years ago.  _

_ “Anakin.” _

_ Anakin takes her face in both his hands and uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears. “I’m so sorry I was late. I’ll never be late again.” _

_ “Promise?”  _

_ “I promise.” _

_ Padme wants to tell him so many things. She wants him to know how much he means to her, that slowly her caring for him turned into love, because she knows now, she loves him. Before she can tell him any of that, he kisses her. His lips move slowly at first, trying to savor the taste of her, but when she opens her lips, all restraint is lost. He’s become a dying man in a desert, and she is his salvation. Deep desire courses through him as he shifts his hands to grab her and pull her closer to him.  _

_ Padme ends up straddling his lap, trying to make sense of what is happening but getting lost in the feeling of it all. She can sense his emotions as they course from his body to hers. It is hard to tell where he begins and she ends.  _

_ Their breathing becomes ragged, and Padme has to pull back for air. She wraps her arms around his neck and brings her forehead to his. “I love you. I realized it after you left.” _

_ Anakin grins. “I’ve loved you since the moment we met. You are and will forever be everything to me.” _

_ Padme breaks the promise she made to herself all those years ago and stays the night. _

  
  



	3. The past cometh...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey meets Ben. Leia gives them some disturbing news, and the past is hard to swallow.

Leia refuses to read any more of the story until Rey feels better. She blames it on the alcohol at first, then comes up with further excuses—too tired, they need to go buy mulch for the garden, her favorite movie is on TV. When Rey asks to borrow the book, Leia adamantly refuses, and when she tries to read it at Leia’s, it suddenly disappears—“Old age, getting forgetful. Will you be a dear and pass the ketchup?”

It’s been two weeks, and Rey only knows that Anakin did indeed return. She feels slightly better at the happier prospect for the couple, but there is something that still bugs her, and she fears the outcome of their relationship is not a good one. She starts believing it more with Leia’s strange behavior. 

Rey is determined to come up with a plan, even going so far as to enlist Poe’s charming tactics to help. She is thinking about said plan, and in the middle of changing the menu they have running along a wall at Resistance, when the bell on the door rings. 

“Good morning! Welcome to Resistance,” says Rey over her shoulder.

She finishes writing a new seasonal coffee option and caps the chalk marker before getting off the step-ladder and folding it, hiding it in a small space behind the counter. 

“What can I—” starts Rey, but she is struck quiet by the man in front of her. It’s not every day she gets to see a man like that. There are the regulars who come in one or twice a week and the occasional traveler. Rey has made a habit of getting to know her clientele—calling them by name or having their order ready as they walk in. This man is new, and Rey knows instantly that he’s going to be different because this man is something else. 

He’s looking at the menu along the wall, and Rey has a few moments to really see him. He’s impossibly tall and broad with gorgeous, shoulder-length hair that makes Rey automatically envy him. He has on a pair of dark jeans, a cream-colored henley, and a grey cardigan; and it makes Rey’s mouth water. 

He finally turns to look at her and frowns. Rey mentally kicks herself for staring so openly.

“What would you like to order?” asks Rey nervously. 

“What exactly is the third option on the second column there?” the man asks, pointing to the wall. 

“Oh, that’s ‘café de olla’. It’s a Mexican-style coffee. House specialty,” says Rey.

“What’s in it?”

“It’s a family secret. If I told you, I would die a slow, painful death,” says Rey and instantly regrets it when she sees his raised eyebrow. “Ahem. It’s a joke. Not a good one. Anyway, I don’t actually get to see how Poe prepares the grounds. I just brew it. It’s very good. I can offer you a sample.”

“Poe?”

“One of the owners. It’s his family’s recipe. I haven’t been able to get him to spill the beans.”

The man smirks, and it does something to Rey, making her feel warm and fuzzy. 

“I’ll try a sample.”

“Be right out.”

Rey goes about preparing it, trying and failing to calm her nerves. She thanks the universe that it’s just her at the front of the shop—Poe and Rose are on their lunch break, and Finn is in the kitchen probably listening to music on his phone while he makes more rosemary and thyme loaves. Plus, the only customers are a couple college kids plugged into their laptops and Mrs. Adler having her customary chamomile tea. 

Rey hands the man a small sample cup and as she does, their fingers touch slightly, and she nearly loses her balance as her knees threaten to buckle. 

The man smells the coffee and takes a small sip. He swirls the liquid inside his mouth and swallows, making a contented noise. “I’ll take a cup of this and two biscotti.” 

“For here or to go?” asks Rey. 

“Here.” 

“Name for the order?”

“Ben.”

Rey smiles. “I’ll bring your order to your table, Ben.”

Ben nods and picks a table by the entrance, placing a leather satchel on it and pulling papers out. Rey watches him a little longer before getting to work on his drink. She brings his order and places it on the table. Ben is wearing glasses now, concentrated on his work, and Rey blushes—having a soft spot for the teacher type. 

“Would you like anything else?”

“Not right now. Thank you.” 

Rey skims over the papers he has on the table, all with red marks on them. “Teacher?”

“Professor.”

“What field?”

“English Literature.”

“Which kind?”

“Romantic Era.” 

“Blake, Wordsworth, or Coleridge?”

Ben blinks in surprise before answering. “Blake.”

“A man after my own heart,” says Rey, and the words surprise even her. 

Ben caps his pen and takes off his glasses. “A barista with good taste.”

“I’m not just a barista. I own this place too.”

“You’re just full of surprises.”

Rey laughs. “What can I say, I’m special.”

“Very.”

Rey blushes again. “I’m Rey, so you can just call me over if you want anything else.” 

“I will, Rey.”

Rey goes over to Mrs. Adler and chats with her a bit before going back behind the counter and preoccupying herself with cleaning the espresso machine. 

Thirty minutes, five more customers, and an impeccably clean espresso machine later, Rey goes back to Ben’s table. “Need anything?” 

“I’m fine,” says Ben. 

Rey nods and turns to leave before Ben speaks again. 

“Where are you in that picture?”

“Huh?”

Ben points to the wall next to him. It was Rose’s idea to use the wall as a gallery for them and for any customer that might want to hang up a picture. There are dozens of them scattered all over the wall. Poe painted a large tree, with the pictures serving as leaves. Rey hates taking pictures, and there is only one of her on the wall. 

“Oh, that’s us in Marseilles. Finn is on the far right, Rose is next to him, and the other is Poe. The summer after we graduated from Uni, we all decided to backpack through Europe. We only ended up being able to afford a short trip to France. Marseilles was our last stop. We opened this place two years after we came back. It was our way of becoming adults.”

Ben chuckles. “Were you not adults before?” 

“Honestly, I don’t think any of us were ready for what came after graduation. We just lived day by day without any plan of what we wanted. Actually, that was pretty much our college life. Being a student was so much easier, and then being thrust into the workforce, it kind of knocked us down. Finn and Poe couldn’t find a job. Rose didn’t like hers. I was mostly meandering. Then we all realized our real passion was coffee and baking. So we pooled all our money and started Resistance.” 

“So, you went to university for nothing?”

Rey glowers at him. “I implied I was free-spirited, not stupid.”

“I didn’t mean—” 

Rey waves her hand. “I majored in computer graphics. I’m good at it—designed the logo for Resistance, and I run our website. I still have some contacts from before, so I do freelance work every now and then, but this,” says Rey, looking around, “this is what I love.” 

“Admirable.”

“I can’t tell if you are complimenting me or being patronizing.”

“I truly mean it. Not many people would put as much effort into something as it seems you and your friends have.”

“Thank you.” 

Poe and Rose enter from the kitchen and head behind the counter.

“Rey. Finn has your lunch ready,” says Poe. 

“Ok, thanks!” says Rey. “Well, Ben, you’ve been saved from my ramblings by the call of lunch.”

“I was enjoying your ramblings,” says Ben. 

“Then you’ll have to come again for another dose,” says Rey.

This time it’s Ben’s turn to blush. “I will.”

“It was nice chatting, Ben.”

“Likewise,” says Ben. 

Rey leaves Resistance with her and Leia’s lunch—thinking about Ben the whole way. When Rey arrives she sees Leia scrubbing her counters, and a deep smell of cleaning solution fills the air. The house is much cleaner than usual. 

“Did you douse the house in bleach?” asks Rey. 

Leia keeps scrubbing the counters. “I just want it to be clean.” 

“I think you did a pretty good job of that. The smell is…something else.”

“Too much?”

“My eyes are kind of watering.”

Leia throws the sponge and gloves she’s wearing in a trash can and then opens all the windows and the porch door. “Maybe a little air will fix it.” 

“Good idea. By the way, why did you ask me to bring another serving of lunch today?”

Leia starts taking out dishes from one of the cabinets and bringing them to the kitchen table. “My son is coming to visit.”

“Your what?”

“Can you help me set the table?”

Rey goes over to Leia’s side and grabs hold of her hand. “Son? Why haven’t you ever mentioned him? I thought your whole family was…”

“Dead?” Leia smiles faintly. “He’s the only family I have left, and he’s finally coming to see me, after almost ten years. I want this to go well.”

Rey stands stupidly for a few seconds before she nods and helps Leia set the table. She feels a slight pang in her heart and the urge to ask a hundred questions, but she bites her tongue instead. This whole time she’d thought Leia didn’t talk about her family because the memory of their death caused her pain, but knowing her son is alive and never visits is something much worse. For a moment, Rey feels anger toward him, before realizing she doesn’t know much about Leia’s past and in turn her son’s. Then she feels guilty for not asking much before, for just waiting until Leia mentioned it first, and she begins to feel uncomfortable. 

“Would you like me to leave?”

“Goodness, no! I need you here. There’s something I want to tell you and my son. Now help me finish setting the table.”

Rey does as Leia asks, and she begins to wonder what her son will be like. Leia doesn’t have any pictures of her family anywhere in the house—like Rey, Leia doesn’t like pictures, or so she has said. Rey begins to think that it is not so much not liking them as it is feeling too much pain from looking at them. To this day, Rey can’t see a picture of Maz without feeling like she wants to cry. 

The doorbell rings and Leia nearly runs, cane and all, to answer the door. Rey finishes setting the table, pours three cups of iced tea, brings the soup to the table, and Leia is still nowhere in sight. She is about to go see what is happening when her phone beeps with a message from Finn. 

**< Some guy named Ben left his card here for you. How is it not surprising that he’s a professor? You really do have a type.>**

Rey responds with a simple “shut up” and locks her phone when she hears footsteps approaching. Ben stands next to Leia, towering over her. When he sees Rey his eyes widen, and a fleeting look of shock flashes over his face.  

Rey’s mouth parts slightly. She can’t believe that Ben, professor of English Lit and lover of Blake, is Leia’s son. 

“Ben, this is Rey. Rey, this is my son Ben.”

They both stand there gawking before Ben takes a step toward her, extending his hand. “I suppose this is a more formal introduction.”

“Have you already met?” asks Leia, confused.

Rey takes his hand and shakes it. “He came into Resistance this morning.”

“Oh, good. Well then, let’s eat!” says Leia. 

The awkwardness is so intense, Rey wants to run out of the house. She keeps sneaking glances at Ben as he eats, and she’s sure Leia has noticed, given the large smile plastered on her face whenever she catches Rey looking. They spend the entire lunch practically silent, except for the occasional “please pass the salt,” or “more bread?”

Rey feels like an intruder. As the months had gone by, she’d begun to feel that Leia could be her family too. Now, she is not so sure. It blows her mind that not only does Leia have a son, but that they didn’t talk for years.

After lunch Rey makes some tea, and they take it to the living room. Leia sits on the large couch, while Rey and Ben sit opposite her in single sofa chairs. Rey glances at Ben, but he’s staring at his mother; he’s put on a mask of sorts, serious and almost professional. This face is much different than the one she saw at Resistance. 

“I was talking to my financial advisor, and with the different assets I have, he suggested I make preparations. Take some funds out, use them for something useful,” says Leia, pushing two folders across the coffee table in front of them toward Ben and Rey. “I also updated my will.”

Rey stares numbly at them. At the word  _ will _ , a rising panic fills her. “Why?”

“I’m leaving the house to you, Rey, and all my paintings to you, Ben. What is left of my fortune is going to various charity organizations,” says Leia. 

“You could have just told me this over the phone,” says Ben bluntly. 

A sad smile graces Leia’s face, and Rey sees the difference in her now. She’s seen snippets of it the last few weeks but thought nothing of it. A missed lunch last week, two the week before, and another before that—unusual, given the routine of the last few months. Now Rey knows, and she wants to slap herself. She went through it with Maz; how did she not see it?  

“How bad is it?” asks Rey. 

Ben turns to look at Rey, whose eyes are shining already, then looks back at Leia. 

“What is she talking about?” asks Ben. 

“You’re too smart for your own good,” says Leia. 

“I’m not. If I was, I would have noticed sooner,” says Rey. She knows the tears are going to start falling at any moment, and she doesn’t care. An image of Maz comes to mind—lying fragile and still in a hospital bed, even at the end, her sense of humor never diminishing and her optimism ever present. 

“Stage three breast cancer,” says Leia. 

Rey wipes a tear from her cheek and takes a deep breath. “Ok. Ok. What’s next? When do you start treatment?” Rey’s mind is racing now, thinking back to everything Maz went through. She starts making plans to change her schedule, the things Leia will need, how she is going to tell Finn, Poe, and Rose. 

“I’m not doing treatment,” says Leia. 

“What?” Rey whimpers. 

“You’re kidding, right?” Ben sounds angry; he’s on the edge of the sofa, looking at Leia intently. 

“I’m not going to spend what little time I may have in a hospital,” says Leia. 

“No. You’re not dying. There has to be something…any treatment that can help,” says Rey, voice rising. All she can think is, “Please not again, please.” 

“All too invasive,” Leia sighs. “This isn’t how I wanted to see you again, Ben, or how I wanted you both to meet, but…”

Rey gets up and rushes to Leia’s side, sitting next to her. “Please. It’s not the end. It’s not!” 

“She’s right,” says Ben, swallowing hard. He’s so pale he looks ghostly. “There’s new treatments, research, you can’t be afraid to try.”

“I’m not afraid, Ben,” says Leia. 

They are all quiet, Leia holding Rey’s hand firmly, and Ben staring at both of them—his jaw working hard, whether holding back words or unable to find them, even he’s not sure. 

It’s Rey who breaks the silence. “To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure,” says Rey, eyes brimming with new tears. “Maz told me that.”

“I would have liked her,” says Leia. 

“Yes. You would have,” says Rey. 

* - - - - * 

Rey leaves Ben and Leia to talk and takes a walk in the garden. She follows the winding trail, going deeper and deeper until she reaches Leia’s wishing tree. The bench beneath it is full of leaves—Rey brushes them off and sits on the bench. She sits and waits, and waits, and waits—for what, she doesn’t know. Leia’s news broke the little semblance of peace she’d made after Maz’s death, and now the feeling of uncertainty and loss is back. Suddenly, Rey feels even worse, berating herself for succumbing to selfishness when it is Leia who is sick. She shakes her head and takes a deep breath, determined to return to the house and be supportive. 

She feels him before she hears his footsteps. Ben walks around the corner and approaches her. 

“It’s been a while since you left; my mom was worried,” says Ben. 

“I needed some air and some time to think. Except maybe that was not such a good idea. I overthink a lot, and my mind runs away from me, and…”

Ben takes a seat next to her. “I understand. It’s not easy, what she said.” 

“Bit of an understatement.” 

“Yeah,” Ben sighs and looks up at the tree. “I’d forgotten how big this thing is.”

He looks just as tired as she feels, and Rey wants to comfort him too. He has the pleasant demeanor she saw before, and she wants to know how someone like him could have left Leia, but she reminds herself she doesn’t know him. He’s here now, that should count, and Leia needs him. 

“We have to try and get her to look at options, anything that can help,” says Rey. 

Ben nods. “It won’t be easy. She’s extremely stubborn.”

“She is,” says Rey with a weak smile. “I’m sorry that this is happening to your mom.”

“Me too,” says Ben, and he doesn’t look away. He holds her gaze, and there’s a charged moment when everything around them comes alive. The wishing tree lights up a little more, the flowers gain a glow, the insects buzz with activity, and the stars above twinkle brightly. 

“She never told me about you. I’ve only known her for a little while, but she never…why were you so estranged?” 

Ben sighs. “There were lots of reasons. Many of which stopped mattering a long time ago, but it was just easier not to talk, not to open that can of worms. She tried, I’ll admit that. She wrote letters over the years, and I still have them, it was just so…painful, the reason why we stopped in the first place.” 

He runs a hand through his hair, and his body sags a little. “When she called me, I almost didn’t answer, but for some reason I felt I needed to. She was so surprised I actually answered, she didn’t say anything for almost five minutes. Then she said there was something important she needed to do and that no matter what had happened in the past, she loved me and wanted me to know that. We talked for a long time, and when she asked me to come here…I couldn’t say no.”  

Without a second thought, Rey takes his hand and squeezes it. Ben smiles slightly and squeezes back.  

* - - - - *

The next few days are a flurry of movement around Leia’s house. Rose, Poe, and Finn all visit, trying their best to cheer up both Leia and Rey and continue their Friday dinners with no changes. Ben stays quiet for most of the revelry, but he smiles at Rey now and then. 

He stays at the house from then on and cooks breakfast and dinner while Rey keeps bringing lunch. Slowly, Rey notices that there’s less and less awkwardness between Ben and Leia. Ben tells Rey they talk more now than they ever did while he was growing up and it helps. Somehow, the heavy news is the catalyst to healing.

Rey still doesn’t know what happened to separate mother and son, and she doesn’t ask. She decides that if either of them want to share more details with her, they eventually will. At least now Leia has allowed Ben to accompany her to her doctor’s appointments, and, while she still doesn’t seem to want to change her mind, there’s been more talk of treatment. If anything, Rey feels there’s hope. Rey hears Ben and Leia discussing it as she arrives for lunch. 

She enters the kitchen with a big casserole Finn and Poe made for them and some side dishes from Rose. “Lunch is here!” 

“That’s great. I’m starving,” says Ben. 

He really must be because he eats his entire meal faster than Rey, which is saying a lot, given that she doesn’t eat, she inhales. Both her and Leia look on with mouths half open as he finishes.

“What?” Ben asks. “I told you I was hungry.”

“He eats fast when he’s nervous, but I don’t remember him ever eating this fast before,” says Leia. 

“Are you alright?” asks Rey. 

“Just hungry,” says Ben. 

Rey narrows her eyes at him, then continues eating. After lunch Ben heads into town to get ingredients for dinner and run some errands. Rey and Leia are left to clean up, but Leia waves it off and pulls Rey out onto the porch. 

“Come, I have something to tell you,” says Leia. 

“Oh no, what happened?”

“Nothing bad, dear, or at least not anymore. I just think it’s time you knew more about my family’s history.” 

Rey nods and follows Leia deep into the garden and back to the wishing tree. They sit at the bench, and it takes a few moments for Leia to speak. 

“I’ll be blunt with you, Rey. My past, my son’s past, it’s not a happy one. We’ve both done and said things that hurt each other.”

“You don’t have to explain. It’s something between you two.”

“I want to, and I asked Ben. He is ok with me telling you this.” 

Rey nods. 

“Ben was always different from his father—Han—and myself. He was more thoughtful where we were brash, introverted where we were extroverted. We didn’t always understand him, Han especially. I think…no. I  _ know _ we expected too much of him, demanded too much. As he grew up, he became distant, angry, and eventually lashed out. Han wanted Ben to be a pilot just like him, and Ben was good at it, very good. It just wasn’t meant to be—Ben had the skill, but not the heart. When Ben told us he chose to major in English Literature, Han didn’t take it well. I know he meant well—he was worried for Ben’s future. Han didn’t see that as a career, and he wanted Ben to do something more useful, but he didn’t tell Ben that, he only got angry. They fought horribly. I had never seen either of them that angry before. They yelled, and in the end Ben threw a punch and Han returned it. Ben left, and we didn’t see him again.”

Leia shakes her head, eyes teary. “I didn’t do anything, Rey, I just watched. That’s why Ben was so angry with me too. I didn’t defend him, not until later, and by then it was too late. He didn’t want to speak with me. Han tried too, once he saw how wrong he’d been, but nothing mattered. Ben switched universities to follow his mentor, and we didn’t know anything about him for a while. Two years after Ben left, Han tried to go see him. He wanted to make things right, but he…he died flying to go see him.”

Rey is crying now, and it’s Leia who’s holding her hand. 

“You would have liked him, Rey. He was many things: a scoundrel, selfish, arrogant, but he was a good man. Ben didn’t come to the funeral, and that hurt, it hurt so much, but I wanted my son back. I knew he wouldn’t talk to me, so I asked my brother—Luke—to talk to him. He had a bit more in common with Ben, both being eternal academics, but even they had a falling out. My brother said it was because of Ben’s mentor. Then Luke passed away too, and I was…” Leia swallows. “I wrote to him. I didn’t care if he didn’t answer, but I wrote. When I learned of the cancer, I knew it was time and that I had to see him again. I needed to see my son at least one last time. You have no idea how glad I was when he answered my call and how ecstatic I became when he agreed to come visit. Now that he’s here I don’t want to lose him. I don’t care if I die, but I would like to make up some of the time we lost.”

Rey hugs Leia. “I’m so glad you two got a second chance.”

Leia pulls back and holds Rey’s face in her hands. “Nothing is ever really lost. There is always hope.”

* - - - - *

Rey had thought Ben might close himself off since Leia told her their story, but instead he relaxes around Rey, as if a weight has lifted. He even takes to visiting Resistance every couple days, working on his laptop. Rey chats with him for a few minutes when he comes in before they both get to work. They are both creatures of habit, opting for set routines, and Rey enjoys that—the concreteness of it. 

Poe is the first one to comment on their behavior. “You two have heart eyes whenever you see each other.” 

Rey punches him in the arm, but that doesn’t deter him or Finn from teasing her for it. They do it so much, Rey has half a mind to tell Ben to stop coming into Resistance. She tells Rose as much, and the next day both Poe and Finn stay uncharacteristically silent. 

Rey is still hesitant to admit that she may have feelings for Ben. There are times when she sees him and her heart flutters, her stomach does somersaults, and she can’t see herself not talking to him every day. She felt resentment at first, when she knew he left Leia alone all those years, before recognizing that Leia had already forgiven him long ago. If Leia forgave him, who was she to judge? So instead, Rey chose to support both of them. Except that also meant Leia was front and center at the moment, not a relationship with Ben. Ben seemed to be on the same page as her because despite them talking and getting along, he didn’t make any advances. 

Life continues as it has the past couple weeks. Leia sees her doctor, but there’s no luck on the treatment end. Ben thinks she goes just to humor him, and he can’t be too upset; she at least still has the energy to argue with him. 

“She said no again, didn’t she?” asks Rey. 

Ben is walking next to her in the store. They are on a grocery run, and Ben looks tired. 

That morning Rey had found him sitting at the kitchen table with a load of research he had done on treatments for Leia’s cancer. Leia pretends to listen, or at least it seems that way to Rey because as soon as Rey sets breakfast on the counter, she goes off about what she wants for their Friday dinner. 

Ben sits back, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. Leia doesn’t mind; she rambles on, opening the containers with food and going about setting breakfast on the kitchen island instead. Ben shakes his head, piles up all the papers, and takes them to the living room. 

“So I was thinking chicken marsala, yes?” asks Leia. 

“You’re not getting off so easily. We  _ will _ keep talking about treatments,” says Ben, entering the kitchen again. 

“Sure, sure. Orange juice?” says Leia. 

Rey smiles at Ben as he sighs. 

At the grocery store they go through the aisles, getting all the ingredients they need. 

“She’ll cave in somehow,” says Ben. “Maybe if I promise to get married.” 

“Nah, that won’t be enough. Tell her you’ll give her a grandkid,” says Rey. 

Ben stops mid-aisle. “That’s not a bad idea.”

Rey laughs. “You really think that would work?”

Ben shrugs. “Maybe if I tell her I’m marrying  _ you  _ because I’ve knocked you up.”

“Sure, let’s get right on that. We can tell your mom we’ve fallen madly in love and I’m a few weeks along. I broke the news to you while we were in the produce section. Oh, and we tell her you knelt right here in the sauce aisle and asked me to marry you because you couldn’t wait to bind your life to mine.” Rey starts to giggle until she sees Ben’s serious face. “Ben?”

He looks at her differently, his dark eyes penetrating. “You have a wild imagination.” Ben takes a step closer, and Rey nearly faints. He smells ridiculously good, and it’s becoming so familiar, Rey even dreams of it. 

“That’s not wild,” Rey mumbles. “Wild would be me telling you that we should have sex in my car so that I get knocked up.” Rey’s mouth drops comically when the words leave her. 

Ben’s eyebrows shoot up so high they nearly touch his hairline. Rey’s phone dings in her pocket, and it takes them out of the moment. Rey coughs and steps back, putting some distance between them. 

“Finn wants to know what dessert to bring,” says Rey. She doesn’t look up to see Ben, trying to hide her growing blush. 

“Tiramisu,” says Ben. 

Rey nods and starts walking away. “I’ll go get the chicken. Meet you at the registers.” 

Rey lets Ben drive, and they don’t talk on the way back to Leia’s house, but once Ben pulls into the driveway Rey is the first to speak.

“It was a bad joke, what I said about the sex in here, umm, and getting knocked up. I didn’t mean—”

“Rey, don’t worry about it. You took me by surprise, but I know you meant it as a joke.” 

Rey nods. “So…we’re good.”

“Of course.”

“Ok. Good. Good.” 

The rest of the night is rather uneventful. Except every now and then, Rey catches Ben looking at her longingly, but she blames it on the alcohol. 

* - - - - *

Rey spends more and more time with Ben and Leia, using her own house only to sleep in while the rest of the time she’s at Leia’s home. Ben and Rey work together to rearrange the house, do an early spring cleaning, and make Leia all together more comfortable. 

One Saturday afternoon they decide to eat in Leia’s garden. Rey and Ben cook while Leia reads a book on the porch. There is a cool breeze in the air, and the smell of the flowers flows all around them. Rey begins to imagine what life would be like if she could always be there with them.

Before she gets any more sentimental, Rey scarfs down her meal, causing Ben to laugh. Once Leia finishes, Rey and Ben clean up and wash the dishes while Leia goes to her room for a nap. Rey is drying the dishes as Ben washes when his phone rings. 

“I’ll take over,” says Rey, taking the dish in his hand. 

“Thanks,” says Ben, then goes out onto the porch. 

Ben’s voice is barely audible, but as Rey stands there washing, his voice gets progressively louder and louder, but not enough to be understandable. Rey frowns and turns to see Ben pacing from one end of the porch to the other. He pulls the phone away from his ear and hangs up, gripping it so tight Rey is sure he will break it. 

She finishes washing the dishes and leaves them to air dry on a rack before walking out to the porch. Ben is just standing still, gripping the porch railing and looking out into the garden. 

“What’s wrong?” Rey asks, coming to stand next to him. 

“It’s…nothing,” says Ben with a sigh, but the anger rolls off him in waves. 

Rey touches his arm. “We haven’t known each other for long, but you can tell me anything. I’ll be your listening ear.” 

Ben hesitates a moment before answering. “The dean at my college wants me to come back. I’m using my accumulated vacation time right now, but I put in for a sabbatical. I was already planning on asking for the time next year. I told him I can do my research here and go back a couple times if needed. It’s what I would have done next year anyway, so I told him I wanted to take the sabbatical sooner, but he’s just…he’s refusing.” He’s so angry, there’s a small twitch below his left eye. 

Rey starts rubbing up and down his arm. “Does he know about your mom?”

“Yes.” 

“He still won’t grant you the sabbatical?!”

“He’s…not a nice man.”

“Can you go to anyone else for help?”

“Unfortunately, no. Snoke—that’s his name—is a very important person within the university. He has control over a lot of the departments, not just the English one. Snoke is the one that recruited me, ages ago.” 

“I’m so sorry, Ben. I wish I could help in some way,” says Rey, and her hand drifts down to his hand. 

Rey looks down at their joined hands, and then her eyes drift up. Ben’s eyes are dilated, and his chest heaves slightly. 

“Ben, I—”

Ben bends, and his lips crash into hers with such a desperate feeling that seems to eat at him. Rey opens her mouth, and he invades it too, wanting more. Rey feels like she’s just hanging on, going through a rollercoaster ride, and she finds it telling that she doesn’t want to get off. 

Ben’s hand snakes around her torso to her lower back, pulling her toward him. Rey grips his shoulders for support, going on her tiptoes as Ben pulls her closer, like he wants to join their bodies into one. Rey doesn’t know how long they kiss, just that she’s getting lightheaded. Rey pushes back, breathing heavily, her head fuzzy and lips sore. 

“I need to breathe,” says Rey. She grips the front of his shirt with both hands, eyes closed. “That was…wow, that was good.”

“That was amazing,” says Ben. 

Rey looks up at him, and the grin on his face makes her knees weak. This time it’s Rey who initiates the kiss, pulling him toward her as she stretches on her tiptoes. 

  
  



	4. Deep descent...

Rey can’t begin to describe what she feels for Ben, or how indescribably good it feels to kiss him. He is familiar, yet new; different, yet similar. Being with him is a blur of emotions, each one bleeding into the other, and with such excruciating joy, Rey never wants it to end. 

After their first kiss, they are inseparable, never too far from each other. Rose squeals with delight when Rey tells her, and Poe and Finn jointly scream “Finally!” Leia, on the other hand, has a peculiar reaction. Her eyes brighten, and she gives Rey the warmest, most bone-crushing hug; it takes Rey by surprise how much strength Leia has. Once she lets go, Rey can see a sudden flicker of worry and sadness cross her face that evaporates just as quickly but stays in Rey’s mind for a long time after.  

The only damper on their newfound happiness is Ben’s constant fighting with Snoke. Once Rey made the connection that Snoke was the same man who mentored Ben and drove a wedge between him and Luke, she began to despise the man. Ben had one last week of leave days, and with Snoke’s denial of his sabbatical, he would have to return to work. The prospect makes him sulk, so much so, he begins to be quite irritable, causing him and Rey to bicker. 

“Report him to the university!” says Rey.

“It’s not that simple. He has a lot of connections. He practically threatened to fire me if I don’t show up to work or if I make a complaint.”

“Ben! That’s exactly why you should report him! He can’t get away with things like this!”

“I can’t lose my job, Rey! I’ve worked so hard, and…if I leave, it will have all meant nothing,” says Ben, and he sinks into one of the porch chairs. “I’ve given everything to the university, to him.”

Rey sighs and kneels in front of him, placing her hands on his knees. “You are worth more than some position, and if what I read about you online is true—yes, I kind of stalked you online—then any university would be begging to have you as a professor.”

Ben pulls Rey to him and kisses her. The way he kisses her is always the same—intense and passionate at first, like Rey is the air he needs to survive, and then he slows down when he feels Rey’s hands in his hair, the heat from her body against his. Rey climbs into his lap, forgetting everything and everyone around them. They can be like that for hours and still feel it’s been only minutes. When they pull back from each other, Rey brings her forehead against his. She wants to say  _ “you need to leave that place,”  _ but she can’t. So she just holds him.

A few days later she sees it again, his restlessness and his anger. Ben’s pacing outside on the porch, like an animal trapped in a cage. Seeing him makes Rey’s heart ache, more so because she doesn’t know how to help. 

Rey walks out to the porch, and Ben stops when he sees her. He looks down at his feet, his hands fisted at his sides. Rey walks up to him and hugs him around his middle.

“Rey, I—”

“Listen. I can’t say I understand why you are so attached to your position, but I  _ can  _ tell you that I understand how hard it is to make this decision. If I had to leave Resistance and everything that I worked for, I know I would need time to think.” The next words nearly kill Rey to say, but she does anyway. “Go. Go back, and decide then what to do. You won’t know for sure until you do.” 

Ben pulls Rey to him and kisses her. “I don’t deserve you,” says Ben, after they break apart. 

“I don’t deserve you either,” Rey whispers. 

* - - - - *

Two days later Leia starts treatment—she returns home with the news after a visit to an oncologist that neither Ben nor Rey knew about. Ben is so happy, he runs out to get dinner from Leia’s favorite restaurant along with her favorite wine. Once he’s gone Leia takes Rey to the living room and sits her down. 

“I heard your conversation the other day. I don’t want him to leave without knowing that I am going to try, and I don’t want you to be so sad,” says Leia. 

“Oh, Leia. Selfishly, I’m really glad you decided to do this. I couldn’t bear losing you too.” 

“I’ll fight this to the end. You won’t be alone; Ben will come ‘round.” 

Rey can only nod. 

* - - - - * 

The morning Ben is set to leave, Rey makes breakfast, and they stop by Resistance one more time. He gets pastries to take with him and says goodbye to Rose, Finn, and Poe. 

At the airport Rey and Leia drop off Ben at the departure terminal and say their goodbyes. 

“Alright, well, I’m going to wait in the car before I start crying,” says Leia, and she turns around and gets back in the car. 

Rey hugs Ben, and she doesn’t let go for a while, taking in his smell and the feel of him, trying to commit it to memory. 

“I’ll call every day, and we can FaceTime whenever you can,” says Ben. 

Rey pulls back. “No, don’t do that.”

Ben frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I mean don’t contact me. Call your mom, you have to, but I don’t think we should talk.”

“No. How can you—”

“Let me get this out,” says Rey, taking a deep breath. “If we keep in contact, I’m going to get more attached, and if you decide to stay there, it’s going to break my heart. And I can’t do the long distance thing. Neither of us deserve that; we would just be living half-lives.” Rey cups Ben’s cheek. “But promise me this. When you  _ do  _ decide what you want, tell me. No matter what it is you choose. Can you promise me that?”

“Yes, I promise,” says Ben, swallowing hard. 

Rey pulls his face down and crushes her lips to his. Rey pulls back and walks away, not looking back, not wanting Ben to see her tears. When she gets in the car, Leia is crying too. She grips Rey’s hand tightly, and they drive in silence the whole way back. 

Rey’s car idles in Leia’s driveway. “I’m going to head home, but I’ll be back tomorrow morning.” 

“I need to give you something before you leave. It won’t take long,” says Leia. 

Rey turns off the ignition and follows Leia into the house. 

“Wait here,” says Leia, leaving Rey in the living room. After a few minutes she comes back, book in hand. “I wanted to give you this.” It’s Padme and Anakin’s story. 

“Leia, I can’t take this.”

“You need to finish the story. I should have let you finish it a long time ago, but I was afraid of what its knowledge would do to you. When you finish it, come back, and we can talk.” 

Rey nods and leaves. When she gets home, Rose, Poe, and Finn are waiting for her inside. 

“What are you all doing here?” asks Rey. 

“We wanted to make sure you were ok,” says Rose. 

“I’m fine,” says Rey, but even a stranger would hear the lie behind it. 

“Liar,” says Finn. 

“Excuse me?” 

“You’re lying. You are not fine, Rey,” says Finn. 

“You don’t have to pretend. We’re here for you,” says Rose. 

Rey ignores them and goes into her kitchen to get a drink of water. They follow her in and sit on the barstools of her kitchen island. 

“Spill it!” says Poe. 

“Spill what? There’s nothing to spill,” says Rey. 

“Peanut, we’ve known you for how long now, and you’re reverting back to the good ol’ days. You don’t have to hide how you feel,” says Rose. 

“I don’t want to talk about this,” says Rey. 

“You’ll have to eventually, and it will eat at you until you do,” says Poe. 

Rey shakes her head and covers her eyes with her hands. 

“Why did you let Ben go, Rey?” asks Rose.   

“He was always going to leave; I couldn’t change that,” says Rey. She’s getting upset, and her breathing rises. 

“He wouldn’t have. He’s head over heels for you,” says Finn.

“How do you know?” asks Rey. She feels so tired, her whole body heavy, so she sits on a stool and shakes her head. “Leia was sick, we were sad, and we both…felt  _ so  _ lonely. We got close because of that. We barely even had anything and wouldn’t have otherwise.” 

“Bullshit!” says Finn. “He left his card at Resistance the same day you met. Before he knew you and Leia were friends. There was something there.” 

“So what is it, Rey? Why are you just letting him go?” asks Poe. 

“I don’t want to be left behind again!” screams Rey. As much as Rey hates admitting the truth, she feels better saying it. 

“Why would you think he would do that?” asks Rose. 

“Everyone does,” says Rey, barely above a whisper. 

“Oh, Peanut,” says Finn. 

“First my parents, then Maz, now maybe even Leia. So it’s no surprise Ben could too,” says Rey. 

“Maz didn’t leave, and neither would Leia. They—” says Poe. 

“I know! I know, but it still  _ feels  _ the same,” says Rey. 

“You have to trust that not everyone will leave. Look at us! We never left,” says Finn. 

Rey scoffs. “Do you know how long it took me to accept that you were actually sticking around? Do you know how long it took not be fearful that everything I did might make you leave me behind? Even now, there’s still moments where I feel doubt.”

“Oh, Rey. Why haven’t you ever said anything?” asks Rose. 

Rey starts crying, and the dam explodes. “Because I’m broken. There’s a piece inside of me that will never heal, and I’m afraid of what Ben, Leia, and even all of you would say if you saw it. If you really saw what was there. I don’t want to see the looks of pity. I don’t want to see the disappointment. If Ben knew, he never would have looked twice at me, and I don’t want him to find out. I’ve tried so hard to cover what’s broken, but I…I—” 

Rose comes around the kitchen island and hugs Rey, tears streaming down her face too. “We would never, ever pity you. And you are not broken! Do you hear me? You are not broken!” 

Finn and Poe come around to hug Rey too. “There is nothing you could ever say or do that would make us leave you. We love you, and it’s you who is stuck with us,” says Finn.  

Rey laughs, and it feels so good to laugh. Rose, Poe, and Finn spend the night at Rey’s house, staying up so late they are running very far behind the next morning. Finn is the first to go in to Resistance—usually at 5am—but it’s nearly 7am when he wakes up. Finn bolts out the door so fast he forgets to put shoes on. Luckily, they open later on Sundays, so Poe and Rose head over after Finn to help make sure things are ready. Rey showers and heads in to work as well, preferring the distraction to stewing at home with everything from the previous day running around in her mind.

She gets to work on making croissants, then butter cookies, and she even helps Finn make bread loaves. Every now and then Ben comes to mind, so Rey busies herself with something else. 

During her lunch break Rey sits in the kitchen amidst the smells of cinnamon, almond, butterscotch, and toffee.  She pulls out Leia’s book from her bag, remembering she’d left it there the night before. She hesitates before opening it, remembering Leia’s words— _ I was afraid of what its knowledge would do to you _ . But Rey has been afraid for a long time—and as she gently touches the cover of the book, a slight tingling courses through her hand. She decides it’s been long enough. 

* - - - - *

_ Anakin makes a home for them next to Padme’s tree, a small cottage that Padme falls in love with. She starts a garden, one full of flowers of all kinds. It grows, and grows, and grows until it turns into a maze with her tree in the middle. She tries to spend as much time as she can with Anakin in her home, but she returns to her own realm every now and then, enough to leave her signature so that the other gods don’t notice her absence as much. She’s lucky they are preoccupied with a human war in Troy.  _

_ Anakin is with her almost every day. He helps her tend to the garden, and they talk like they used to. The stories he tells of his travels marvel Padme, and he tends to leave out the horrors he saw, only focusing on the good. Anakin promises to one day take her to the ocean, to the ruins of a long-forgotten fort, and to the forest of Hallerbos in spring, when the bluebells bloom. She’s seen it, all of it, but knowing he will be with her the next time makes her giddy with anticipation. _

_ One day Anakin brings over a guest—Master Obi-wan. Anakin tells Padme that Obi-wan became a father figure to him and that they saved each other’s lives more times than he count. He speaks highly of him, and when Padme meets Obi-wan, she understands why. He is calm, patient, and invariably kind.  _

_ He stays for a while and becomes as much a friend to Padme as he is to Anakin. In the mornings Padme watches them train with such graceful movements it looks like a dance. For a while they are happy and at peace, but the day comes when both Anakin and Obi-wan are called to serve once more.  _

_ The separation doesn’t hurt as much the second time; she knows he will return, and she has a place that is theirs to wait in. Before he leaves Anakin gives Padme more parchment and a new reed. She hugs and kisses him goodbye, waving as they leave.  _

_ They’re gone for less than a year, but when Anakin returns, he is different. His body the same, yet his soul now darkened. He’s restless in a way Padme doesn’t understand. There are nightmares that plague his nights, ones he doesn’t share. He doesn’t share much of anything anymore. Anakin has begun to close himself off, even from Padme.  _

_ Obi-wan can’t get through to him either. “There is something he fears, but he won’t share what that is with me. I can’t help him.” _

_ “What happened on your trip?” asks Padme.  _

_ “We met various generals along the way. One in particular took a liking to Anakin. They talked for long periods of time; I believe he wants to make Anakin a part of his army.” _

_ “Is he a good person?” _

_ Obi-wan doesn’t speak for a long time. “He is hard to read. He seems good, but there is something about him I just don’t like, and I can’t explain why.” _

_ When Padme asks of this general, Anakin’s eyes darken, and he speaks of him with such reverence it scares her. Padme has seen the hearts of men tainted by power, and she feels the need for it rolling off Anakin in ever deeper waves.  _

_ Padme places a healing stone under their bed, her power imbibing Anakin’s soul every night. It works for some time, calming his thoughts and returning his peace. But the guilt of its use eats at her despite its results. She fears what Anakin might say and do if he found out.  _

_ Anakin is summoned once more, but this time it’s harder for him to leave. Padme is carrying his child, and she fears staying alone. So Anakin asks Obi-wan to look after her, to protect that which is most precious to him. Padme begs him to stay, to wait until their children are born, but something dark pulls at him, and Anakin leaves.  _

_ Padme and Obi-wan never see Anakin again.  _

* - - - - *

“Rey. Earth to Rey!” says Finn, waving his hands in front of Rey’s face. 

“Huh? What?”

“Your phone’s been ringing. Why are you crying?”

Rey wipes a tear from her cheek. “It’s nothing. Uh, I didn’t hear my phone.”

“Is it about Ben?” asks Finn, handing her a tissue.

“No. No, it’s just this book,” says Rey, waving the book in the air. She’s starting to regret reading Leia’s book because every single time she does, her stomach hurts and her heart constricts. Despite it all she wants to get to the end and understand what Leia meant.  

“Don’t read sad stories,” says Finn, then turns around and goes back to rolling dough. “You should read something sci-fi or fantasy.”

Rey nods absently and pulls her phone out of her apron. She sees a missed call from Leia, just as a text message from her comes in.  **< Ben called. He’s made it back safely.>**

Rey’s heart constricts. She wants to call Ben or text him, but she’s the one that told him not to call, not to contact her. She’s about to go back on her word, call him just to tell him she’s glad he made it back when he messages her. 

**< I’m sorry. Please wait for me.>**

Her heart swells, and it’s enough because if there’s one thing Rey is good at, it’s waiting. 

* - - - - *

That evening Rey hurries over to Leia’s house with Rose in tow. Rey has a spring to her step; she knows it’s too soon to hope, but she can’t help it. 

“What’s with the pep in your step?” asks Rose. 

“Ben texted. I’ve got something to look forward to,” says Rey. 

Rose smiled. “I’m glad. You need a little happiness after everything that’s happened.” 

When they arrive at Leia’s, she’s nowhere in sight. The table is set for dinner, but she doesn’t answer when they call out. 

“Let’s check the garden,” says Rey. 

Rey follows the maze through the garden, checking the hidden nooks throughout. 

“Woah! This place is a lot bigger than I thought. We only ever stay near the porch,” says Rose. 

“Huh, I didn’t realize I’ve never taken you this far in. Leia is probably by her wishing tree.” 

They walk for a few more minutes until they reach the center of the maze. As Rey predicted, Leia is sitting on the small bench under the wishing tree. 

“Oh! Is it dinner time already?” says Leia, looking at her watch. “Lost track of time.” 

“This tree is gorgeous!” says Rose. “It looks like it belongs in a fairy tale.”

Rey nods. “I really love it—best part of this whole garden.”

“It reminds me of one I saw in one of my elective courses…Greek or Roman mythology I think it was. Poe would remember; he took the course with me,” says Rose. 

“Well, it is that old,” says Leia. 

“What do you mean?” asks Rey. 

“Did you finish the book?” asks Leia. 

“No. I’m almost done, but I got distracted.” Rey feels a pain in her chest again remembering— _ Padme and Obi-wan never see Anakin again.  _

“This tree has been here for a long, long time,” says Leia.

“Trees can’t live that long, can they?” asks Rose. 

Leia merely smiles. “Let’s have dinner, shall we?”

Two servings of lasagna and a double dose of German chocolate cake later, Rey is lying on Leia’s couch, very happy. 

“Your lasagna keeps getting better and better every time you make it,” says Rey to Rose. 

“I only ever make it once in a blue moon, so it tastes even better because you miss it,” says Rose. 

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” says Rey. 

“Exactly!” says Rose. “Speaking of, I’ve got a date with a warm bed and a fluffy pillow, and I am not going to miss it.” 

Rose hugs Rey goodnight and calls out to Leia, “Goodnight, Leia. See you tomorrow!” 

“Goodbye, dear!” says Leia, her voice floating from the kitchen.

“Are you taking Leia to her appointment or is Poe?” asks Rose. 

“I am. Poe is taking her on Thursday. Oh, and don’t forget you’re taking her next Monday,” says Rey. 

Rose pulls out her phone. “Yep. Already on my calendar. Ok, see you!”

Rey waves goodbye as Rose heads to the front door. Leia enters the living room with a tray of tea. 

“Did you finish it?” asks Leia. 

Rey frowns. “Finish what?” 

“The book, dear. You should, the sooner the better.” 

“Why the rush? Before you didn’t even want me to read it.” 

“It’s important.”

“I’ll finish it tonight.”

“Go to the wishing tree; it will be better if you read it there.” Leia takes her cup of tea and stands. “I’m going to bed, but I’ll stay awake. Come find me when you finish.” Leia walks away, leaving Rey confused. 

Rey finishes her tea and fetches the book from her bag. The walk to the wishing tree is different this time—it’s long, and there’s a sense of dread with each step that Rey tries to push away. She doesn’t know where the feeling comes from, and she doesn’t quite understand it. 

When Rey comes upon the wishing tree, its lights are burning bright, a glow so strong their light reaches out into the night sky. She can see perfectly, the tree illuminating everything around her. Rey sits on the bench and opens the book one last time.

* - - - - *

_ It’s raining the day he comes back—water pounds heavily on the roof. The storm outside rages on and on with no end in sight. Padme is in the kitchen making soup, mindlessly toiling away at the simple act. Even the simplest of tasks take her a long time to finish now, and her motivation is lacking—her garden has seen the brunt of it, shriveling little by little.  _

_ She tries her best to stay positive, to divert her nagging thoughts with work. Padme fears for the twins she carries—worries that Anakin will not return in time. They are restless, just like their father, so she sings to them, and her soothing voice calms their spirits. At night she writes in the journal Anakin gave her, telling him all about their children and what she would like to call them—Luke and Leia. She wonders if Anakin would like the names; Obi-wan assures her he would. _

_ Obi-wan can sense Padme’s fears but says nothing—years later, his inaction would become his greatest regret. Padme’s worry and sadness are palpable, so Obi-wan simply remains close, talking out loud about meaningless things, trying to keep Padme occupied somehow.  _

_ When Padme hears the horse’s hooves she bolts to the door, tearing it open and running out into the storm. Anakin is not alone; a cloaked companion follows close behind, his steed dark as night. When he dismounts Padme runs to him, wrapping her arms around his waist.  _

_ “I missed you so much,” says Padme.  _

_ Anakin doesn’t hug her back, just stands stiff. Padme pulls back to look at his face. The darkness gracing his features scares her more than anything ever has. She steps back, taking in the man before her, a sudden stranger.  _

_ Anakin doesn’t look at her, rather, behind her. Obi-wan steps out of the house, a frown on his face. _

_ “Perhaps we should get out of the rain,” says the man next to Anakin.  _

_ Padme turns to look at the man for the first time. He is shorter than Anakin, older, and his face is disfigured. She senses something odd about him, but she can’t determine what.  _

_ Once inside they eat in near silence. Anakin keeps looking at Obi-wan as if he were an enemy, while the stranger smiles wickedly.  _

_ “You haven’t told us your name,” Obi-wan finally says to the old man.  _

_ “Palpatine,” says the man with a snakelike hiss.   _

_ Padme remembers the name; it is the general Anakin admired. She looks at Palpatine and can’t understand how this man could have ensnared Anakin so well.  _

_ “General Palpatine will stay with us as our guest,” says Anakin.  _

_ “How long?” asks Padme.  _

_ Anakin looks at her pointedly. “As long as he wants.”  _

_ Padme says nothing more, but she feels the discomfort in Obi-wan as well.  _

_ Once alone in their room Padme tries to talk with Anakin, but he looks angry and barely speaks. He goes to their bed, rolling to his side, and when Padme joins him she gently touches his shoulder. “I love you,” she whispers. Anakin doesn’t respond.  _

_ The next two days are much the same. Palpatine and Anakin spend most of their time wandering the field and forest near the house and garden, returning only for dinner. On the third night as they are about to retire for the night, Padme asks Anakin to take a walk with her. They don’t stray far from the house, their way lit by the torch Anakin carries.  _

_ “What’s happened to you?” asks Padme. _

_ Anakin says nothing.  _

_ “Anakin, I love you,” says Padme, moving to cup his face in her hands. “Whatever it is that affects you, I can help you. I will do anything for you.”  _

_ “Is that what you said to Obi-wan too?” says Anakin.  _

_ “What?” _

_ “Palpatine…he is like you, and he sees. He saw!”  _

_ “Anakin, I don’t know—” _

_ Anakin takes out something from his cloak and tosses it to the floor, next to Padme. It’s the healing stone she placed under their bed.  _

_ “Anakin, I—” _

_ Anakin’s hand grips Padme’s throat. “You lied! You don’t trust me. You’re against me—you and Obi-wan. You are both holding me back. Palpatine has seen it.”  _

_ Padme’s hands pull at Anakin’s wrist, her breathing growing shallow. “Please,” she breathes out.  _

_ “Anakin!” says Obi-wan, bursting out of the house, his sword in hand.  _

_ Anakin lets go of Padme, and she drops to the ground.  _

_ Anakin pulls out his own sword, lifting it in Obi-wan’s direction. “You turned her against me!”  _

_ Padme wants to speak, to tell Anakin he’s wrong, but the words can’t leave her mouth. In a plume of smoke, Palpatine appears, but only Padme can see him. His laugh rings horribly in her ears.  _

_ “He won’t believe you. Not anymore,” says Palpatine.  _

_ Padme tries to stand up, but a pain in her belly causes her to fall to the ground. There’s a trickle of blood running down her legs. Taking a deep breath, she channels what power she has left and directs it at Palpatine, an explosion of white light throwing him back.  _

_ He’s dazed for only a moment. “You just wasted your last bit of divinity, and for what?”  _

_ Padme tries again, but there is no light, no explosion.  _

_ Palpatine laughs and turns away. He approaches Anakin, looking much taller now, no longer old-looking, and his eyes are red. He whispers something in Anakin’s ear, something Padme can’t make out. The pain in her belly grows, and she knows it’s time.  _

_ “Padme, run!” says Obi-wan from behind her.  _

_ Anakin runs toward Obi-wan, and their swords crash. Palpatine watches the fight unfold, a gleam in his eye and a grin on his face. She recognizes the face then, Hades’ second in command. Padme uses all of her strength and gets up, tears streaming down her face.  _

_ Anakin and Obi-wan are still fighting, both giving it their all. Padme runs. She runs into the garden, following the maze, forgetting the pain, only wanting to reach her tree.  As soon as she touches it, the tree glows, illuminating everything around her. Padme sits at the base of the tree when the pain hits her in full force—her twins are coming.  _

_ Padme looks up to the stars, hoping her father will hear her plea. “Don’t hurt him; it wasn’t his fault. Please. There’s good in him, I know it.”  _

_ Another contraction hits her, and she wails, the sound filling the garden. A single star shines above her. “Please. We need another chance.” The star shines a bright blue and then falls, zooming through the sky and disappearing below the horizon.  _

_ There’s movement in the maze, and a few moments later Obi-wan appears.  _

_ “Padme!”  _

_ He kneels beside her, gripping her hand.  _

_ “Anakin?”  _

_ “He’s…alive.”  _

_ “Save him.”  _

_ “You need saving. What can I do?”  _

_ A contraction hits, and Padme screams out. Obi-wan takes off his cloak and places it beneath Padme’s legs. He helps her give birth to her twins, and their cries make Padme smile.  _

_ “They’re beautiful,” she says. “The boy—Luke, and the girl—Leia.”  _

_ Obi-wan nods. “I will keep you all safe.”  _

_ “Take them, protect them. Get them far away from here.”  _

_ “We’re all getting out. Together.”  _

_ Padme shakes her head. “There’s no time.”  _

_ “What do you mean?” asks Obi-wan, but he sees how the light in her once brilliant eyes is leaving her.  _

_ “I’m human now.”  _

_ Obi-wan cries—for the first and only time in his life. He kisses her forehead, gently, and then bundles Luke and Leia in his cloak. He turns back one more time to see Padme, but she is already gone.  _

_ It’s nearly sunrise when Anakin reaches the tree—Padme’s body lies limply against it. He cradles her body against his, and a scream rips through him. Lightning hits a spot not far from where Padme lies, and a tall man emerges from the smoke. He looks down at Padme’s body and with a flick of his hand, Anakin is thrown in the air, hitting a large bush a few feet away.  _

_ “You killed my daughter,” the god says. “She was too kind, better than any of us.”  _

_ Anakin slowly gets up, taking a step toward Padme. “Bring her back.”  _

_ “I can’t,” says the god. “But I  _ will  _ punish you. The darkness within you will now become your appearance. You will walk the earth and be hated, hunted, and you will carry your guilt until you die.”  _

_ The god raises a single hand and Anakin screams. His body changes, and he becomes a monster. Anakin screams with pain again until he passes out, falling to the floor.  _

_ The god kneels in front of Padme. He touches her cheek, a small sob escaping his lips. “My beautiful daughter.” Bright light emanates from his hands, just as they did from Padme’s, but this time there is no explosion. A small light leaves her body and enters the tree, setting it aglow. He picks up Padme’s body, cradling her like a child, and they both disappear.   _

_ Palpatine returns and takes Anakin with him. He takes him far away, twists his mind until he can’t remember who he is. He forgets Padme, her garden, and her tree.  _   
  


* - - - - *

The last page has a drawing of Padme’s tree, the same tree Rey is now sitting under. She extends her hand and touches the trunk. It vibrates under palm, a warmth filling her. 

“Padme?”

As if in response, the tree glows bright, a small blue light mixing with white in the spot where Rey is touching. Rey feels a hand on her shoulder. Leia looks from Rey to the tree. 

“I felt her waking up. She glows the brightest when she’s happy,” says Leia. 

“Is she…is she really here?”

“I think a part of her is.” 

Rey looks back at the book in her hands. “It’s real.” 

Leia nods. “She was my ancestor. There’s many journals, centuries worth of them, but this one holds the story. Obi-wan told it to Luke and Leia. Luke is the one who wrote it down—this is his journal. After their father died, they returned to that house and her garden.” 

“Why are you sharing this with me?” asks Rey. 

“Because you’re the falling star, Rey. Padme’s hope.” 

She can’t comprehend, can’t fully take in what she just learned. It’s too much. Rey wants to run, to have it all be a joke.

  
  



	5. It was always you...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey takes a chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh, I really hope this ending makes the cut. Tigbit, hope you liked the journey.

Rey has never been anyone’s hope, at least not that she can remember. Leaving Leia’s house the night before and walking home is still a blur. She knows she left, got home, went to bed, but it is all fuzzy—a drunk fog. 

She eats breakfast alone at her kitchen table for the first time in months. Rey looks around her house, and it’s no longer familiar. It feels odd, different, and not her. She puts her plates in the sink and leaves, walking to Leia’s house. 

“What does it all mean?” asks Rey as soon as she enters Leia’s kitchen. 

Leia is standing by the kitchen island with a cup of tea in her hand. 

“Let’s sit.” 

“No. Tell me, I need to know.” 

Leia sighs. “Some of my ancestors call it a curse. That we are forever plagued in darkness for what happened to Padme. We experience happiness only for a short while before death and sadness finds its way in. My mother and brother believed that the falling star, the one that fell after Padme pleaded to it, was the key to breaking our curse. Obi-wan believed it too; he wrote about it in his later years.” 

“How can that be me? I’m not a star!” 

“I don’t think it’s literal but rather the hope that someone could save our family. Padme asked for her family to be saved. The heavens sent you. I knew it was you the moment you jumped into the garden to help me. The garden glowed blue, and it woke up for the first time in decades.” 

Rey shakes her head. “This is ridiculous. It’s just a story. Plus, I’m not immortal. I haven’t been alive since Padme and Anakin’s time.” 

Leia holds Rey’s face in her hands. “But your ancestors may have. The first fallen star.” 

Rey runs her hand through her hair. 

Leia hugs her. “It doesn’t matter. All I care about is that you came into our lives—mine and Ben’s.” 

“What do you expect me to do?” asks Rey. She’s on the verge of tears, and she wants to hit, pinch, or slap herself. She takes pride in her “I don’t cry” attitude, which has gone down the drain as of late. Rey’s emotions feel all over the place; she feels lost, and she hates it. 

“I can’t do this,” says Rey, getting out of Leia’s embrace. 

She runs out of the house and keeps running; she doesn’t stop until she’s inside Resistance and hides in one of their pantries. Finn comes in some time later, carrying a cup of tea and some cookies, placing them on the floor beside Rey. 

“It’s been twenty minutes, and we’re all a little worried. Poe headed out a few minutes ago to take Leia to her appointment, so you don’t have to worry about that.” 

Rey loses it then. “Shit!” she sobs. “I didn’t even remember. See, this is why! How can I save them if I can’t even keep my shit together?”

“Woah, woah! What are you talking about?”

Rey sobs harder. 

“Peanut. It’s ok. Rose, Poe, and I are all here for you. So is Leia.” 

Rey wipes her tears away, taking a deep breath. “Ok. Ok. I can do this. I just need time.” 

Finn looks thoroughly confused but nods. “Whatever you need.”

 

* - - - - *

Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and life goes on. Rey tries to go back, to put everything as before. She avoids thinking about the nagging feeling in the back of her head—that something is missing. She doesn’t bring up Padme, or the tree, or the star—she ignores it, and Leia lets her. 

It’s almost two months before Rey goes back to Padme’s tree because it’s really hers and not Leia’s. The first time, she stands at the opening leading to the tree. She just stands there, unmoving, not aware for how long. The second time, she walks around, touching the other flowers, avoiding looking directly at the tree. The third time, she walks right up to it and sits on the bench. She brings her knees up to her chest and waits. Waits for Padme to talk, to tell her what to do, but she doesn’t. 

It’s been like that for four months. Rey sits and waits. Sometimes she brings a cup of tea; other times she brings one of Leia’s ancestors’ journals. She finally showed Rey the collection hidden in the basement. There are shelves upon shelves of journals, all organized by year and by person, the most prolific of which just happens to be Rey’s favorite—Qi’ra. Her life was full of adventure, spending most of her life traveling and partaking in not-so-legal ventures. While she writes of not regretting anything she did, she admits that it was at times lonely. 

Rey reads out loud, not certain why, but feeling that Padme would appreciate it. Again, she waits. Rey’s good at waiting. She thinks of Ben often, wonders what he is doing in that moment, if he would like Qi’ra’s journal. Rey asks Leia if Ben knows, but she already knows the answer. Ben left home at such a young age, Leia never got the chance to tell him. Rey thinks he would like Qi’ra’s journal. 

Apart from that first text, Ben doesn’t send her anything else. Rey reminds herself she asked him not to, and she keeps telling herself not to contact him. Instead, she waits. 

Leia mentions him every once in a while, giving Rey short snippets of their conversations. She knows Leia talks to him at least twice a week, but she doesn’t ask about him. Every time Leia starts talking about Ben, that nagging feeling in the back of Rey’s head rears its head. It keeps getting harder and harder to ignore. 

Rey is early bringing dinner one night—Poe kicking her out the door of Resistance (“You’ve been here since 3:30 in the morning—earlier than Finn. Go!”). 

She hears Leia’s voice coming from the kitchen when she enters the house. It gets clearer as Rey approaches. Leia’s back is to her; she’s sitting at the table. 

“It’s your choice, Ben. If it’s what you want, then so be it. I’ll still be here, and we will still be in contact; that won’t change.”

Rey’s stomach drops. 

“Are you going to call Rey?”

There’s a moment’s pause. 

“Alright, yes. Love you, Ben.”

Leia hangs up and sighs. She gets up and gasps as she sees Rey. “You scared me half to death, Rey.”

“He’s not coming back.” Rey says it not as a question but a statement. 

Leia looks at her phone, at Rey, and then gives her a small nod. 

That’s it, Rey thinks, the end of her wait. She doesn’t need to wonder anymore; there’s no life with Ben to imagine—something she had done quite a bit of as of late—there’s no more waiting. 

“Poe made Cuban sandwiches,” says Rey, brandishing the bag in her hand. “I also brought some of the coconut macaroons Finn made this morning, and Rose said she would be stopping by later.” 

Leia smiles and nods, not saying more. Rey talks on, words flying out of her mouth a mile a minute. She barely lets Leia get a word in, and by the time Rose stops by, her voice is almost hoarse. Rey thinks that when she gets home she won’t be able to sleep, that she will toss and turn, so it comes as a great surprise that when she gets in bed, she drifts off almost instantly. 

 

* - - - - *

When Ben calls Rey the next day, she hesitates. She stares at his name on her phone screen. Rey knows what is coming, but it doesn’t make it any easier. 

“Hi,” says Rey. 

“Hi, Rey.”

“How’s Boston treating you?”

“Better than a week ago. I got caught in a sudden spring shower, which wasn’t so much a shower as a downpour.”

Rey laughs; she can’t help it. She imagines him, big, tall, Ben walking to his classroom soaked to the bone. 

“A little water never hurt anybody.” 

“Yeah, right.” 

Rey doesn’t say anything else, and neither does he. She can hear him breathing, and she wonders if he can hear her breath hitch, or the knot in her throat she has trouble swallowing. 

“I got tenure,” says Ben. 

“Congratulations,” says Rey, and she means it. 

“That means—”

“I know. I’m happy for you.”

“Why are you so nice?” asks Ben, and he sounds angry. 

“Blade Runner is overrated. Not a good movie at all.” 

“Take that back!”

“Nope.”

“That’s not very nice. You know I like that movie.” 

“Well, I’m not a very nice person.”

“Liar.” 

“Ditto.” 

“What?”

“You don’t like Blade Runner, you love it.”

It’s Ben’s turn to laugh, making Rey smile. 

“I miss you,” says Ben when he finally catches his breath.

Rey swallows, and it takes her a moment to talk without sounding like she might cry. “Come visit us soon. You mom would love to see you again.” 

“I will.” 

“I have to go,” says Rey. 

“Wait!”

Except Rey doesn’t want to wait. She’s been waiting for things her whole life, and she’s done waiting. “Don’t forget to call your mom tomorrow. She has her first appointment for the new treatment her oncologist recommended.” 

“I will, but, Rey, I…I’m sorry. I wanted to leave, but…it’s what I’ve always wanted.”

“Don’t apologize, Ben. Not to me, at least. Just make sure you keep in contact with your mom.”

“Of course I will, but I want you to know that I care about you too, that I tried but…”

Rey sighs. “Bye, Ben.”

“Bye, Rey.” 

Rey doesn’t cry when she hangs up. She doesn’t cry when she talks to Rose about it, and she doesn’t cry when she’s alone at home that night. Rey just accepts it. As she is lying in her bed that night, her acceptance of everything that’s happened in the last few months starts making her angry. She begins to look back at her whole life in general, the moments she acceded to—her first foster father treating her like shit, the bullies in her school calling her “scavenger,” her student loan officer taking advantage of her ignorance, the uni advisor hitting on her constantly. She’s a fighter, always fighting back, but sometimes when her limit is at its end—why? Too kind, Finn says. Too naive, Poe says. Too shy, Rose says. 

Rey gets out of bed and puts on a pair of sneakers. It’s nearly 3am, but she doesn’t care. She jogs out of her house and heads for Leia’s. She enters the garden through the side gate instead, not wanting to wake Leia. Quietly, she makes her way through the maze to Padme’s tree, knowing the route like the back of her hand now, only the light of her phone illuminating her steps. 

When she reaches the center of the maze, she walks directly to the tree and places a hand on its trunk. 

“Tell me I’m not crazy. Tell me it’s real.” 

The tree glows a bright white, and the spot beneath Rey’s hand turns blue, spreading and expanding up the tree’s branches and leaves. The light suddenly shoots back down to the trunk and enters Rey’s hand. 

Rey is knocked back. She lands hard on the ground, the grass beneath her wet. Rey sits up, bringing her hand to the back of her head. She groans and stands. She’s no longer near the tree. She’s outside Leia’s house, except it looks smaller and not painted. The garden entrance looks the same, but there is no fence surrounding the house or the garden. 

She takes in her surroundings and sees a man and a woman a few yards away. She can hear them arguing but can’t make out the words. Rey walks toward them, wanting to ask where she is, but the man grabs the woman by the neck, choking her. Rey runs in their direction. 

“Stop!” says Rey, trying to grab the man’s arm, but her hand passes right through his. 

“You lied! You don’t trust me. You’re against me—you and Obi-wan. You are both holding me back. Palpatine has seen it.”

Rey sees a man bursting out of Leia’s house, and she knows instantly what is unfolding before her. She is powerless to stop any of it, merely an observer in what unfurls before her. When Palpatine appears, she feels a coldness grip her, sinking deep to the bone. He moves swiftly and without sound, reaching Anakin, and Rey can hear the whispers Padme could not. 

“You are weak; Obi-wan is much stronger than you. She will leave you because of it,” says Palpatine. 

There is a flicker of fear that crosses Anakin’s face, but before he can react any further, Palpatine speaks again. “Power is all that matters. With power you can have anything. You can even get her back.” 

Anakin surges forward and attacks Obi-wan. A sudden light flashes in Rey’s face, and she’s back in the present, sitting on the bench in Leia’s garden. She looks around, trying to grasp her surroundings and the otherworldliness of her experience. 

Rey pulls her hand back from the tree trunk, her palm tingling. She hears rustling behind her and sees Leia walking to her, a small flashlight in hand. 

“The whole house shook,” says Leia. “For a minute there I thought it might be an earthquake, then I saw the light.” 

“Did the whole neighborhood feel it?!” asks Rey. 

Leia shakes her head. “What happens in the garden or the house can’t be seen or heard. Our little area here is separate from the rest of the block. There are…wards.” 

“Wards?” 

“Padme protected this place and then died here; magic like that changes a place.” Leia hands Rey a blanket. 

They both sit on the bench, Rey looking up at the stars. “I don’t know how to save your family.” 

“You don’t have to save us,” says Leia. “Just stay with us until the end.” 

Rey smiles. “I can do that.” 

 

* - - - - *

Three days before the beginning of Fall, Poe begins changing the wall menu at Resistance. 

“Why is there so much pumpkin spice?” says Rey, scrunching her nose at the five new different menu options. 

“It’s Fall, and pumpkin spice is always in.” 

“Just looking at that makes me tired of it already,” says Rey. 

“Oh, please. Grinch came to town early.”

Rey sticks her tongue out at him and retreats to the counter. There’s been a lull in customers after their usual rush hour, so Rey finds herself restocking, wiping the counter, and taking a croissant break in the kitchen. 

Finn walks into the kitchen and spots Rey sitting on a stool. “We need to talk,” he says and walks out the back door. 

Rey frowns but follows. 

Finn paces back and forth in their little alley next to the garbage bins. 

“What’s wrong?” asks Rey. 

Finn lifts up a book, which Rey recognizes instantly as Padme’s story. “Where did you get that?” she asks. 

“It was laying on Leia’s coffee table. I needed something to read while I waited for her to get out of treatment, so I took it, and Rey…” Finn shakes his head. “This story, it’s dark to say the least, and the tree at the end.” He opens the book to the last page and shows her the picture of the tree. “It’s the tree in Leia’s garden.” 

“Padme’s garden,” says Rey. 

Finn looks taken aback. “You believe it too?” 

“Too?” 

“I asked Leia about it when we got back to her house. She told me the story of how these are her ancestors,” says Finn, waving the book. “And that the falling star is somehow you, or one of your ancestors. It’s insane!”

“Finn—”

“It’s crazy, and if it’s not, then…” 

“It’s a story, Finn.” 

“Not to you.” 

Rey hates how much Finn can sometimes read her, or, rather, how well he knows her. 

“Is this why you and Ben broke up?”

“We were never really together,” says Rey. 

“C’mon, Rey, you two were more than together, you were in love. The ‘I’ll do anything for you’ kind.” 

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration.” 

“Padme didn’t think so, and you’re a little like her.” 

That hurts, thinks Rey. “Why does any of this matter to you?” 

“Because you matter to me,” says Finn. “I know you. You try to help anyone you meet. You give yourself completely, sometimes to a fault. You did it for Leia; you still do. Yet for Ben you’ve just let him go.” 

“What are you getting at, Finn?” says Rey. She’s getting upset, and she’s not sure if it’s Finn that is doing it. Rey’s current mantra is to simply keep moving on, find happiness in what she has—never mind it doesn’t always work. 

“I might regret saying this, but…you should go see Ben.” 

“What?!”

“A lot of what Leia has said about her family is eerily familiar to what happened in this story. It’s as if there is a darkness following them that tries to rip them apart.” 

Rey can only nod. 

“Leia said Ben left when he was a kid, just like Anakin did that first time. Then he comes back and rights things with his mom, finds you, but then leaves again—exactly like Anakin did the second time,” says Finn. 

Rey starts putting the pieces together and can’t believe she didn’t see them before, yet Finn sees them without even trying. 

“I’ve always thought Leia’s house was weird. There is something else there, especially when you go into the garden. I hate to admit it, but as crazy as this is, there could be some realness to this.” 

“You’re not crazy,” says Rey, giving Finn a hug. “You really think I should go to Ben?” 

“If this story is anything to go on, he could be in trouble. That Palpatine guy corrupted Anakin. There might be someone trying to do the same with Ben.” 

That hit Rey like a ton of bricks. Ben could be in trouble, and she didn’t even think of it. She feels foolish and guilty. “I have to go, Finn.” 

Finn gives Rey a warm hug. “Be careful.” 

Rey grabs her things and leaves, heading to Leia’s. She’s never felt so sure about anything in her life as she does in that moment. A sense of clarity has invaded her mind, letting her focus on the single thing she wants to do the most—go to Ben. 

When she reaches Leia’s, she’s sitting out on her porch, a drink in hand. “Hello, dear!” 

“I want to go see Ben,” says Rey automatically. 

“I’m sure he would love to see you too,” says Leia. “But why now?” 

“Finn said something that scares me.” 

“What do you mean?” asks Leia, setting her cup aside. 

“I didn’t see it, or rather I wasn’t looking for it. Finn read Padme’s story.” 

Leia nods. “Yes, he asked me about it later. It rather upset him.” 

“It did, and he saw something—Padme’s story parallels my story with Ben.”

Leia chuckles. “No, dear. Your stories are vastly different.”

“There are similarities, the same with Ben and Anakin.” 

At that Leia looks grave. “No. No, Ben is not Anakin.” 

“Anakin wasn’t all good or all bad, especially in the beginning. He was guided toward the darkness. I think the same thing is happening with Ben.” 

“His mentor,” says Leia. 

“Yes. He’s a bad influence on Ben, and he doesn’t treat him as a person but a thing. I need to go to him.”

Leia closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths. “You can’t save him. Not if he doesn’t want saving. I’ve learned that the hard way.” 

“I know, and I’m not going to save him. I’m going to offer my help. He needs to know I still care. Padme wasn’t able to do that for Anakin, and I stupidly cut contact with Ben. I need him to know I’m there for him. That’s why I want to go.” 

“When do you want to leave?” asks Leia. 

“I’ll take the next flight out if I can.” 

Rey is on a flight to Boston the next morning. Rose is the one to take her to the airport, even more excited than Rey. 

“Ok, so what’s the game plan?” asks Rose.

“Game plan?”

“You need to have a plan. What are you going to do, just show up at his house or his office?”

“Umm…”

“You’re kidding! You can’t just wing this, Rey.”

“I have a whole day’s worth of flying. I can think of something in that time.”

Rose laughs. “You’ve never been this spontaneous, and the one moment where you shouldn’t be, you are.” 

“All that matters is that I’m going,” says Rey. 

“Alright, alright. Did you get a hotel?”

“Yes. I booked it last night. It’s near Ben’s campus.”

Rose pulls up to the departure drop-off at the airport and parks. “Good luck, Rey. Call us when you land.” 

Rey nods and reaches over to hug Rose. “Thank you.” 

 

* - - - - *

“Are you sure about what you’re doing?” asks Mitaka. 

Ben nods, and he feels a weight lift off his shoulders. As soon as he decided and turned in his letter, he entered Mitaka’s office and sat on a chair. Mitaka is the only other English professor in the department that Ben likes—well, more like stands. He doesn’t get along with most of his colleagues, but Mitaka is the only one who doesn’t annoy him as much and who still talks to Ben. 

Mitaka whistles. “You’re brave, Solo. I wouldn’t want to be caught in Snoke’s crosshairs, and this will definitely do it.”

“Wait until he finds out what I wrote,” says Ben. 

“Why are you doing this?”

Ben doesn’t even hesitate in his answer. “I’m going home, Mitaka. I’m going home.” 

 

* - - - - * 

Rey asks two students the way to Professor Ben Solo’s office, and neither know the answer. The information guide on the ground floor only shows the floor Ben is on, not the room number. She thinks it’s stupid that they wouldn’t put that information on there. “Not all of us are students here,” she grumbles. Rey’s walked the same floor twice and can’t find Ben’s office. The building is large with various wings, and she’s about to give up and try Ben’s house when another student rounds the corner. 

“Third time’s the charm,” whispers Rey. “Excuse me. Can you tell me how to get to Professor Ben Solo’s office?”

The male student’s expression morphs into one of pity. “Down the hall, to the right, second door on the left. But if I were you, I’d run. Guy is an asshole.” The student walks off in the opposite direction. 

Rey stares after the student with a slack jaw before bursting into laughter. It takes her a few minutes to stop laughing, and when she does, some of her nervousness has disappeared. She walks down the hall and turns right, seeing Ben’s name on the door the student had indicated. 

Rey stands outside his door trying to remember the speech she wrote on a handful of napkins during her plane ride. “Ok, you can do this.”

As she lifts her hand to knock, a voice behind her makes her stop. “Who might you be?”

The old man stands close to her. Rey can smell his horrendous perfume, and it makes her want to gag. He’s not much taller than her, too thin and pale, almost sickly. Pockmarks cover his entire face, and if the student she met thought Ben was an asshole, he would probably say something much worse of this man. His face is anything but friendly, and he looks down at Rey as one would look at an ant. 

“I’m here to see Ben.” 

The man raises an eyebrow. “Ben?” 

“Yes.”

“So you’re the one,” the man scoffs. “How pathetic.” 

“Excuse me,” says Rey. She stares daggers at him. “Who are you?”

“I’m the dean of this college.”

“Snoke.”

“Ah, you’ve heard of me. I’ve heard of you too, though I’m surprised you’ve come here. I don’t get surprised often.”

Rey tries to push past him, not wanting to be in his presence much longer.

“Oh no. You don’t get to leave so easily,” says Snoke, grabbing her arm. 

“Let go of me,” says Rey, trying to free herself. Snoke is stronger than he looks, and Rey can’t pull away. 

“Ben came back different, I assumed because of his mother’s diagnosis, but I had hoped it would all be fine once she died. Except…you. You seem to have made an impression on him.”

Rey pulls hard, and his grasp slips, freeing her arm. “You’re a monster, and I’ll make sure Ben realizes that. You won’t get to control him anymore.” 

Rey walks away, making it around the corner, but Snoke pulls her back and pushes her up against the wall, one hand just below her neck while the other holds her shoulder. 

“I did not invest all this time and resources into him just so someone like you could muck it up! You’re nothing, and you will not mess this up!” 

“Let her go!” says Ben, his booming voice filling the entire hall. He’s standing by the elevators a few feet away. 

Snoke takes a step back, looking from Rey to Ben. Rey’s hand collides with Snoke’s chin, and there’s a loud crunch. Snoke falls to the floor, his hands on his chin. 

“Fuck you!” says Rey. 

Ben is at Rey’s side in a second, hugging her. “Let’s go.”

Rey follows Ben out, both leaving Snoke on the floor. 

 

* - - - - *

Rey doesn’t realize they’ve arrived at Ben’s apartment until she’s walking through the door. She’s been cradling her hand the entire way there, from the moment they walked into the elevator in Ben’s college building all through the cab ride as she ground her teeth. 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” says Ben as his hand makes soothing circles on her back. 

“Well, it’s not a dream. If it was, this would be the most painful dream I’ve ever had,” says Rey, motioning to her cupped hand. 

“I’m getting you some ice for that,” says Ben. 

His apartment is large and open, more of a loft than an apartment. Rey takes it in for only a moment before Ben is back at her side. 

“Maybe we should go to the emergency room.” 

“No, it’s not broken. Just hurts like hell.” 

“How do you know it’s not broken?” asks Ben, curiosity blooming in his face. He places the ice on her hand gently, then guides her to his living room. They sit next to each other, Ben very gingerly touching Rey’s hand. 

Rey blushes. “It’s not the first time I’ve punched someone. I’ve broken it before, so I know what it feels like. It’s not broken this time.” 

“You’re incredible,” says Ben, in awe.

“I just punched an old man. I don’t feel so incredible.” 

Ben laughs. “He deserved it. He deserves a lot more of that to be honest. We need to report what happened to the university; he assaulted you.”

“Will they believe it? You’ve said he has a lot of power there” 

“They’ll have to. Our building has cameras. I’m surprised he didn’t remember that; he’s a very calculating person.” 

“I guess I just made him that mad.”

Ben looks at her, and it makes Rey melt. She had missed it—that look, the one that made her feel she was the most important thing in the room. 

“What did you say?” 

“That I was going to make you realize he was a monster and that he wouldn’t get to control you anymore.” 

Ben slips his hand behind her head and brings her closer to him, their foreheads touching. “You have no idea how much I’ve needed you.”

Rey throws all caution to the wind and kisses Ben, long and deep. The ice pack lays forgotten on the floor as Ben pushes Rey into a reclining position on his couch. He props most of his weight on his forearms as Rey brings her arms around his neck—her pain long forgotten. His hands travel down her whole body, trying to memorize the shape of it. Rey wants to keep kissing him, tasting him, devour him body and soul. 

Ben picks her up easily, taking her to his bedroom. They stay in that room for hours, or maybe days; Rey is not sure anymore. All she knows is that time with Ben will never be enough. She will always want more, and so will he. Luckily, neither of them have other plans. 

 

* - - - - *

Six years later…

“Momma, momma!” says a little girl with hazel eyes and dark black hair. 

“What is it, Luna?” asks Rey. 

Rey walks to where Luna is crouching on the ground. She is near Padme’s tree, looking intently at something on a flower. 

“That’s a beautiful butterfly,” says Rey. “What color is it?”

“Yellow,” says Luna. “My dress is yellow too.” 

Rey picks the little girl up. “Yes, it is. Now how about we go have some of your grandma’s pie?”

“Yes, yes!” says Luna, squirming in Rey’s arms. 

Rey sets Luna down, and she takes off running in the direction of the house. Rey looks back at Padme’s tree and grins. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” The tree glows a deep blue, as if in response. 

Rey can hear Luna giggling through the maze as she follows. When they reach the house, Leia is setting up a table on the porch with coffee and apple pie. 

“There’s my little moon child,” says Leia as Luna runs to her. “Ready for pie?” 

“Yes, gamma.” 

Leia serves them both a piece and gives Rey a cup of coffee. Rey pours lemonade into Luna’s cup as the girl proceeds to gobble up the pie—very much like her mother. Friday dinner at Leia’s continues to be a weekly tradition, and now that Luna and Penny—Finn and Poe’s adopted daughter—are part of their little family, the event has become more lively. 

The only one missing is Ben. He’s in California, negotiating the movie rights for his books. After leaving the university, he found his passion—writing. His series of Star Wars books are now published in dozens of languages. Ben was in the throes of writing another when the offer for a movie adaptation had come in. Rey can’t wait to see him tomorrow. 

“When are the others getting here?” asks Leia. 

“They should be here any minute. I asked Finn to pick up some extra dinner rolls,” says Rey. 

Leia is looking better and better every day. For a while Rey and Ben saw her fading, but with the new treatment a year ago, Leia got a new life. As Rey sits there on the porch, looking at her beautiful five year old and Leia as they animatedly talk, she is completely content. She lives for the small moments when her whole family is around her, and she feels so much love it almost hurts. 

“Pappa!” says Luna as Ben comes out of the house to the porch.

Ben crouches, and Luna runs into his arms. He peppers her face with kisses and Luna giggles. Ben picks Luna up and walks over to Rey, giving her a soft peck on the lips. 

“You’re early,” says Rey. She’s beaming, and even after five years of marriage, she can’t get enough. 

“I couldn’t wait to be home,” says Ben. He sets Luna down on Rey’s lap and moves toward Leia, giving her a hug. 

“Glad you’re home,” says Leia, and she gives him a kiss on the cheek. 

Ben sits next to Rey, taking her hand in his. Luna is still on Rey’s lap, eating what is left of her mom’s pie piece. 

“So…” says Rey. 

“The deal is done.” 

Rey squeezes his hand and jumps for joy in her seat, jostling Luna, who gives her mom a curious look. 

“That’s fantastic!” says Rey. 

“Will they let you write the script?” asks Leia. 

Ben grins. “Yes, and I’ll have to go back in a month for a meeting. I was thinking we could take a short vacation this time. You and Luna could go with me.” 

“Sounds perfect,” says Rey, and she pulls him in for another kiss. 

“You’re back!” says Poe, walking out to the porch. Penny is holding his hand. When Luna sees her she scrambles out of Rey’s lap and runs to the other girl. They hug so tight one would think they hadn’t seen each other in ages, rather than a few hours. 

“There’s a new flower in the garden!” says Luna. The two girls run down the porch steps and into the garden. 

“Stay close to the house!” says Rey. 

Finn and Rose follow Poe out onto the porch. 

“Please tell me you said yes and they are making a movie out of your books,” says Rose eagerly. Finn nods along, looking just as excited. 

“I did,” says Ben. 

Poe cheers the loudest, and they all pull Ben out of his chair to give him a hug. 

“Can we get parts in the movie?” asks Poe. 

“That’s not my department,” says Ben, chuckling. 

“Can you imagine all the merchandise?” says Finn. 

“How exciting!” says Rose. 

“You’re more excited about this than Ben,” chuckles Leia. 

Penny and Luna run up to the porch giggling, their dresses dirty. 

“Momma, I’m hungry. I want to eat now,” says Luna.

“I’m starving too,” says Finn. 

“Let’s eat, then; it’s all ready,” says Leia. 

“I brought everything for the dessert,” says Rose, brandishing the bags in her hands. 

Luna is the first to run into the house; Penny follows her. She is a year younger than Luna and follows her like a shadow. The rest follow the girls inside, but Ben stops Rey and keeps her outside. He kisses her once more, a quick peck. 

“Missed you,” says Ben. 

“Me too,” says Rey. 

“This is going to get big. Well, bigger than it already is,” says Ben. 

“Your fans aren’t that bad,” says Rey. “I’m in it with you, all the way.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you more.” 

“Always?”

“Always.”


End file.
